| As if mad cow disease and the avian flu weren’t bad enough, now we have to worry about catching cannibalism.
"Huh?" you might ask, raising a quizzical eyebrow at my nonsensical assertion. "What the hell are you talking about, man?"
Cannibalism – it’s an infectious disease now. It works like this – a common or garden cannibal will approach a likely victim, and then bite him. The victim then becomes infected with a mutagenic virus that causes him to crave human flesh, assuming, of course, that he wasn’t devoured completely during his initial meeting with the original cannibal. The new cannibal will then seek his own victims, and so on. Damn thing spreads like wildfire.
"But John," you might protest, "how can a social phenomenon such as cannibalism become a contagious disease?" This is certainly a fair question, and has, in fact, already been asked by actress Elizabeth Turner in the motion picture Cannibal Apocalypse (a.k.a. Invasion of the Flesh Hunters, 1980), a film in which the aforementioned cannibalism scenario actually takes place. She is answered by one "Dr. Phil" (no relation) who explains the situation with psychobabble so pointless that the questioner’s eyes immediately glaze over, as do the audience’s. Fortunately, Dr. Phil’s diatribe is brief, since nobody really cares why Vietnam veterans are snacking on bikers and gas station attendants – we just want to see what they get up to next. We don’t have to wait long. Cannibal Apocalypse is a breezy, ludicrous, thoroughly enjoyable grunge flick from reliable exploitation director Anthony Dawson (real name: Antonio Margheriti).
We begin with stock footage of the Vietnam War, as tough guy soldier Captain Norman Hopper (John Saxon) cuts a swathe through the Viet-Cong with a tommy-gun and a flamethrower. He chances upon a nearby pit that’s being used to house PoWs, and as luck would have it, two of Norm’s buddies are in there, awaiting rescue. Unfortunately, they’ve been waiting a little too long, and by the time Norm gets to them, they’re both enjoying a meal of human flesh. One of them nips Norm on the arm, and he suddenly wakes up in 1980 America, next to his wife, staring at the scar on his wrist. God damn ’Nam flashbacks.
After assuring his wife that everything’s OK, just another nightmare is all, Norm receives a phone call from Charlie (John Morghen), the G.I. who bit him back in the day. It seems that Charlie’s been let out of the insane asylum today and is anxious to meet up with his former captain to yak about old times. Cap’n Norm’s happy to hear from his rehabilitated buddy, but is still a little too upset from the dream to think about "old times," so he gives Charlie a feeble excuse and hangs up. Disappointed, Charlie decides to see a movie. Once there, the latent cannibalism virus he caught in ’Nam kicks in and he chomps a fellow patron on the neck.
Embarrassed by this little social faux pas, he flees the theatre, pursued by several members of the World’s Most Persistent Biker Gang™, an implacable squadron of hoodlums who take an immediate and permanent dislike of our Charles. The erstwhile soldier/nutcase-cum cannibal runs into a gigantic indoor flea market and tries to hide amongst the stalls while one of the bikers roars through the aisles on his hawg, trying to locate him (see? Persistent!)
When Charlie notices a nearby 12-gauge shotgun, he remembers that he’s a highly trained soldier and doesn’t have to take shit like this from any snot-nosed bikers, no matter how stubborn and resolute they might be. Biker boy takes a load of buckshot to the head and so does a security guard who comes by to investigate the ruckus. By now the cops have surrounded the building and they send in Norm to try and talk the madman into coming out quietly. It works, and Charlie is returned to the asylum.
By now, it feels like we’ve just finished watching a really cool (albeit short) movie, but things are just getting started. Norm tries to resume his normal life, but can’t ignore his carnivorous urges for long. He suddenly decides to embrace the cannibal lifestyle and breaks Charlie out of the booby hatch. Accompanied by old war buddy Tommy (Tony King) and a newly cannibalistic nurse, Charlie and Norm steal an ambulance and speed off into the city in search of victims. Chaos ensues.
What we’ve got here is something very similar to a zombie film, only the zombies here are living, breathing people who can drive cars, shoot firearms and organize hunting parties. If you think that sounds like a fun movie, you’re absolutely right. Fast-paced, funny and gory (particularly in its unrated form), Cannibal Apocalypse is a satisfying junk-movie fix that’ll leave you grinning. The original VHS tape from Vestron Video is entitled Invasion of the Flesh Hunters, and is missing a few of the bloodier moments. The DVD from Image Entertainment is presumably uncut. |
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