| "A friend of ours took a photo of me licking Trevor’s ear and Trevor said, ‘It looks like you’re telling me a wet secret.’"
Lyle Bell, a.k.a. Ambrose Hamballs, lead vocalist and bass player for The Wet Secrets, is explaining to me how the band came to be. We’re sitting in the cozy basement studio of piano player, electronic wizard and producer extraordinaire Diego Medina’s house, where the Edmonton six-piece are in the midst of recording an all new version of their debut full-length, A Whale of a Cow.
My tiny, hissing tape recorder sits in the middle of our circle, which includes Bell, Medina, tuba and trumpet player Kim Rackel (a.k.a. Fifi von Boozerhausen), trombone player Donna Ball (a.k.a. Annelle LeKage) and the previously mentioned percussionist, Trevor Anderson (a.k.a. The Chinball Wizard). The Wet Secrets are taking a well-deserved break from a late night session of laying down vocal over-dubs, drinking beers, eating pizza, and having the time of their lives.
"After we came up with the name we were drunk again another night later on and agreed to play a show as The Wet Secrets," says Bell with a laugh. "Then we kind of forgot about it for awhile and about a week before we were supposed to play we still didn’t have a band or songs."
"We decided to make that our angle," Anderson pipes in. "In one week, we decided to write and record an album and then play the show. And that way, we would have an excuse if it sucked!"
Thankfully, no excuses have been necessary. The band’s rollicking live performances, where they appear onstage dressed in blood-red marching band uniforms (courtesy of Anderson’s mother and the Red Deer Royals), have gained them a sizeable rep in both Edmonton and Calgary. Additionally, the original Whale of a Cow is actually a refreshingly fun collection of dirty, danceable rock ’n’ roll with heavy fuzz bass, handclaps, horns, paint-can drums and Bell’s distorted vocals traversing deadly serious issues such as tea bagging, douche bags and rim-jobs.
"That’s real life – that’s about a co-worker of mine," explains Rackel. "’Mr. Rimjob 1999.’ He’s one of those guys who you talk to because you work with him, but you don’t like. The song was my way of venting, and seeing crowds of drunken fans pumping their fists and singing along has been sweet, sweet revenge."
Flash forward to a few months later and The Wet Secrets are now nearing completion of the re-recorded album, and I’m conversing with Anderson and Bell again about how this version will differ from the original.
"Diego's a recording genius, so this one sounds very professional," explains Bell. "We retained The Wet Secret grit, but cleaned up a lot of the unnecessary junk."
Besides the 11 original songs, the album will also come packaged with a six-song EP of all new tracks. A few confirmed titles include "Secret March," "Grow Your Own Fucking Moustache Asshole" and "Dude Get Your Own Apartment Dude."
"Of course, everyone will have a different opinion of which version of each song they prefer, the original or the re-recording," says Anderson. "We're happy people will have the opportunity to choose."
The band has also gone through several lineup changes as of late, with Medina (a.k.a. Pablo el Diablo), replacing the original keys man Jeremy Nischuk full-time, and Clint "Mr. Marimjob" Frazier added on the marimbas.
"Jeremy left the band for personal reasons and Diego knows the music inside and out," says Anderson. "The nutty, high-end keyboard lines that were so specifically Jeremy's territory can never be precisely replaced, but a combination of Diego's sexkeys and Clint's wackrimba should give us something new and satisfyingly unpredictable in that tonal range that would otherwise be occupied by lead guitar, which we ain't got and don't want."
New, and with any luck, improved, The Wet Secrets have now gained label support from Pop Echo, who are ready to release this Whale of a Cow as soon as it’s done. After a few more sessions of recording, mastering, and the addition of a few possible remixes, the band hopes it will hit the shelves sometime in June or July.
"We've become a very cosmopolitan band lately, so it's been tough to get tracking finished," explains Bell. "Donna's in Mexico, Chinball is in London, I was in Austin for a stretch, and Diego is flying to Wisconsin next week. It makes it tough to co-ordinate the quintessential gang handclap session, but we really have only a day or two left."
"We just want to finish the fucking album," says Anderson. "Then, hand-jobs for everyone!" |
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