| There’s something you should know about me – I am plagued with a curious affliction that causes me to purchase lots and lots of videotapes and DVDs. If an affordable and interesting looking tape or disc catches my eye and I don’t buy it, I find myself wracked with regret for years after the item is taken off the market (Why? Why didn’t I buy that $1.88 copy of Midget Wrestling Bloopers back in 1989? Why!?).
This affliction really isn’t that much of a hardship. In fact, most of the time it’s great fun, although on occasion I’ll look into my bag of freshly-acquired movies and wonder what the hell I’m doing. For instance, this week I loaded up on DVDs of shows that I’ve already seen. Why did I do this? Well, let’s answer that question on a case-by-case basis.
· Case No. 1: Attack of the 30s Characters (1930-1937) – This is a terrific little collection of old cartoons, but to be really honest with myself, I bought it just for Lady, Play Your Mandolin (1931), which I already have on VHS. So why go for the double dip? Because sinister forces are at work, trying to remove every VCR from the face of the planet, and if they succeed, I won’t have a playable copy of the most awesome black-and-white cartoon ever made. Besides, what if my tape got erased by some freak magnetic storm? It could happen. Let’s move on.
· Case No. 2: Count Duckula: The Complete First Season (1988) – You remember this show, right? The team of Brit animators who brought us Dangermouse came back with this spinoff series featuring some of the absolute corniest jokes ever. Check out this Abbott and Costello inspired segment in which the titular vampire duck is confronted by two Egyptians while exploring a pyramid.
Hoomite: "I am Hoomite, High Priest of the Sun God Ra! And this is my assistant Yoobee."
Yoobee: "Delighted, I'm sure."
Hoomite: "Who might you be?"
Duckula: "Yes, I got that."
Hoomite: "No, who might you be?"
Duckula: "Yes, I know, you said that already."
Hoomite: "So you will not tell me?"
Duckula: "Well, I hardly need to, do I?"
Hoomite: "We shall see about that! Yoobee, you try."
Yoobee: "Oh, very well master. Listen I am Yoobee, right?"
Duckula: "Wrong. I am; you are."
Yoobee: "Aahhh! There you are Master, he is Yooare."
Hoomite: "So you are Yooare?"
Duckula: "I am not I am not."
Hoomite: "See! He is not Yooare, he is Knot!"
Yoobee: "You are Yooare!"
Duckula: "I am not Yooare."
Yoobee: "Don't call me Knot, Yooare." Etc.
See? Jokes that awful deserve to be preserved for the benefit of future generations.
· Case No. 3: Newsradio: The Complete Third Season (1996-97) – No regrets whatsoever here. I adore Newsradio, and have been looking forward to this three-disc set ever since the previous set came out. This one’s got 25 episodes, 10 audio commentaries, some featurettes and a gag reel. Not to mention such classic moments as Jimmy’s presidential campaign, the arcade machine, the Halloween party, the complaint box, the awards ceremony and Beth’s amazing monologue on the concept of "cute." In fact, I’m already eagerly waiting for the fourth season to come out.
· Case No. 4: Audition (Uncut Special Edition) (1999) –There, that ought to convince the clerk at the check-out counter that I’m nuts. Two cartoon sets, a 10-year old sitcom and this, possibly the most upsetting movie in recent years.
When I first saw Takashi Miike’s brilliant but shocking flick, I knew there was absolutely no chance of getting any sleep that night. In the final 15 minutes the tone shifts from gentle to nightmarish so abruptly, it leaves the viewer pale and traumatized. This version is supposedly uncut, which is meaningless to me, since I can’t imagine that any additional footage could possibly make this movie any more wrenching than it already is. Plus, the cover art gives way too much away for those who haven’t seen the film. Do I even want to show this to anybody? Or see it again myself? Why on Earth did I buy this?
Well, I did watch it again and it made me realize why I bought the disc – It’s a very good movie. That’s all. |
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