| When I was in school we studied Canada’s Food Guide, but it never mentioned the sixth necessary food group – beer. This liquid elixir, when consumed in moderation, helps relieve some of the stresses and strains of being a student, and acts as both a social lubricant and a great way to meet new people of both sexes.
But just because you’re a student doesn’t mean that you have to buy the cheapest beer. That’s just cruel to your taste buds and your kidneys. Just in time for reading week, here’s a five-section, self-study course in good, affordable beers. This course is worth life credits and, best of all, there’s no term paper due.
BEER 101: WHAT I REALLY LEARNED IN UNIVERSITY
1. You wouldn’t eat Kraft Dinner every day, so why would you drink the same boring beer over and over again? Explore the import, craft and singles section of your beer store – there’s excellent value hidden there, and your stimulated taste buds will help exercise your mind. Isn’t that the reason you’re in university in the first place?
2. Think outside the six-pack. Sometimes buying three or four single beers works out to more beer, more flavour, more booze and, most importantly, less money than that well-advertised six-pack. Your palate will enjoy the workout and your brain will grow from all the information on those beer bottles.
3. A well-run beer budget recognizes that there is a brew for every occasion. A house party and a night in front of the television require different beers – the latter being a good occasion to drink something you can slowly savour. The time of evening will affect beer choice as well – if it’s got to the point where you’re using a funnel or shotgunning, no use wasting the good stuff.
4. Cheap beer tastes cheap, or, even worse, tastes like nothing. Most cheap beers are made with a corn and grain combo, and ingesting lots of corn can lead to corn mitosis. Do your liver a favour and skip them.
5. Moderation is key. Too much beer combined with your studies will result in your being put on the dean’s other list.
· Best guzzling beer: Molson’s Pilsner, a well-made beer that tastes great for the money. I find Old Milwaukee to be the only one of the super-cheap beers that has any taste – and if you don’t want taste, why are you drinking beer?
· Best savouring beers on a student budget: Mount Begbie Tall Timber Ale is an amazing brown ale that’s big, round and full-bodied. Unibroue’s products, La Fin du Monde and Maudite, besides coming in really cool champagne bottles, boast eight per cent (or more) alcohol per volume, taste stellar and have won more gold medals than you can shake a stick at.
· Best hidden gem of the import section: Tuborg comes in a four-pack of king cans – 2,000 millilitres of beer at just under nine bucks, which is just 20 millilitres less beer than a six-pack. The Tuborg is a premium, assertive, well-made beer sold at deep discount prices.
Now, go do your homework! |
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