| Hi. This is Bob Keelaghan. You may know me from the weird-ass interviews and sarcastic CD reviews published in this paper.
Today, I have something serious to write about.
Our provincial government has made one of the greatest leaps in the history of democratic socialism by giving its citizens the right to spend part of the provincial surplus $400 at a time, rather than have a one-party state government single-handedly and oppressively decide where the money goes.
If you're poor, spend it on food or rent. If you're a student, put it towards your tuition. If you're concerned about the homeless, throw it – $20 at a time – at street people while screaming at them to get a job. If you're a self-centred libertarian who is suspicious of the very nature of government, spend it at a classy drinking establishment offering "Ralphbucks" drink specials and piss it out the other end just because this province is so goddamn rich and we can afford to offend the unemployed fishermen on the East Coast.
Maybe some of those cheques will wind up in the bank accounts of certain provincial and federal political parties with strong organizational bases in Western Canada. But that kind of corruption doesn't happen here. No, it's the best fuckin' province in the Confederation!
The almighty Ralphbucks are not merely a demagogical action designed to make the population revere the generosity of our leader who gives us bread and circuses, they are an ingenious invention of democratic socialism, just like work for welfare (a.k.a. public works program).
With that in mind, I'm giving my $400 cheque to charity. I can pay my bills, keep a roof over my head and stay fed. I don't need a government handout. I've noticed, however, a few other people do.
In fact, I'm quite certain the $400 portion made out in my name is going to my local hospital, which is so overcrowded that patients have to sleep in hallways and be assigned to units that are not the ones where they would receive proper care.
While the government was reeling in the publicity from its generous handout, it declared its intention to break the law. While bar patrons are pissing away $400 of public money, the government is about to piss on the Canada Health Act. Why? It's good for the economy. And it's the culmination of a policy initiative that started, quietly, nearly 20 years ago.
I mean, everybody knows the public sector does things more efficiently than sectors held in the public trust. Just look at the Alberta government, which initiated costly paper surveys to poll the opinions of Albertans on issues such as Bill 11 and how to use the surplus. Did any of those affect government policy? Lord knows how many private consultants they paid to help draft the PR plans.
Annually, the Alberta government sends out an ass-load of paper to tax Albertans with health care premiums, one of only two provinces to do this. Thankfully, they spent even more money to print $400 cheques that can be used to cover most of the cost of a year's premiums instead of simply eliminating the premiums. See? They proved it. Government is inefficient when it comes to administering health care. (Never mind recounting that shit about blowing up one hospital and selling another at below market value, not thinking that one day we might need the bed space for a growing population.)
Bring on private for-profit health care. We're so bloody rich we can pay our own hospital bills. Besides, those cripples could walk if they really wanted to. Get a job. Work your way up. Buy yourself a cure, damn it.
One would think such affluence affords sinking a few more bucks into health care and education. It's not so bad for the economy, either. People study to be doctors and nurses. They get paid for doing one of society's necessary functions. They spend their earnings in the economy. The money trickles down. This is roughly how America's military industrial complex operates, except the government isn't stuck with so many bombs it doesn't know what to do with them unless it wages a full-scale war that drains the rest of the economy. (Shhhh. Don't mention that to the provincial government the next time they bitch about Canada not supporting the Iraq war – they're against deficit spending.)
I digress. How the provincial government trivializes serious policy issues by staging a public relations exercise leaves a bad taste in my mouth. That's why I'm voting with my $400 against the government's private health care policies, which they brand "innovative" so nobody will question their ass-backwardness. A $400 cheque doesn't have to go towards a hospital. It could be a homeless shelter. It could be a school. The government doesn't think for us. We have to do it ourselves. |
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