| I share with many Canadians a contempt for this foolish election campaign, with its recycled campaign promises and made-for-TV theatrics. If Canadians had no good choices in the 2004 election, as many said was the case, they have even less this time around. The leaders are seemingly competing for dullness and lack of imagination, and here in Conservativeland, very little is going on in the way of campaigning.
Thankfully, the Internet can help make the campaign seem somewhat lively, especially for those of us who like to pretend that someone other than a Conservative has a chance at winning a seat in Calgary.
The blog of ex-Jean Chrétien political strategist and Calgary native Warren Kinsella (www.warrenkinsella.com) is a gift from the gods – er, from Kinsella, anyway, who I think believes himself to be a god sometimes. The self-described Liberal "prince of darkness" plays in a punk band called Shit From Hell and regularly tears apart anyone who doesn’t agree with him – even if that person happens to be one of the most respected justices in the country.
When the Gomery report came out in November condemning Jean Chrétien for his role in the sponsorship scandal but exonerating Paul Martin, Kinsella did everything but call Justice John Gomery a hack. "Bullshit" was the word he used to describe Gomery’s conclusion that Martin was unaware of the scandal as it was unfolding. (Kinsella will also use words like "fucking hypocrite" to describe people he doesn’t like, though he hasn’t yet used such strong language when describing a federal judge).
Since Kinsella is a Chrétien loyalist, most "Martinette Liberals" (as he calls them) fall into the category of disagreeables. There is nothing like watching a disgruntled Liberal attacking other Liberals – the vicious scrapping injects life into the dullest campaign (which this one certainly is). It’s enjoyable to sit back and watch the red fur fly as Kinsella points out flaw after flaw in the Martin campaign, from Liberal campaigners writing letters to the editor and posing as average citizens in newspapers, to Martin’s flagrant lies about his position on Iraq (he supported sending troops when Chrétien refused to). It’s shamelessly partisan, yes, but it’s well-written and often insightful.
Another solid site is Calgary Grit (calgarygrit.blogspot.com) – yes, it’s also a Liberal site, but it’s good. Its writer, Bart Ramson, is another Chrétien Liberal who turns a critical eye toward his own party. He describes himself as "one of the few Liberals in Calgary who haven't been hunted down and driven out of town yet." It’s not as biting as Kinsella’s blog, but it’s more reasonable – and often more funny.
Calgary Grit’s minute-by-minute commentary of the first leaders debate is hilarious. He makes fun of Gilles Duceppes’s Liberal ocean analogy (among other things). "Between promising something and keeping it, there's an ocean," Duceppe said. "And that ocean is called Liberal." Um, OK. "Man, Gilles has brought his A material to the English debate," Calgary Grit observed. Indeed he had.
But the true online gem for this campaign is a satirical site that makes fun of everyone. Derision 2006: Frosty the Election (www.derision2006.com) is a thing of beauty that rivals The Onion in its brilliance. Here is a sampling of some of its headlines:
· "Martin promises reduced wait times at nation’s Tim Hortons;"
· "Green Party Leader completes cross-Calgary tour in broccoli-powered bus;"
· "Following round-one debates, Layton vows substantial moustache reforms;"
· "Harper’s child-care plan calls for Santa Claus to give children $1,200 to spend on their own Christmas presents."
Combine these stories with some hilarious spoof ads about "Very Irresistible Gillesvenchy for Men" and "Stephen ‘2 per cent’ Harper," whose aim is to "get elected or die tryin’," and you’ve got what is probably the most entertaining source of election news in the country.
The stories resonate with people, too. After all, who wouldn’t support Layton’s moustache reforms? He looks too much like a slimy car salesman with that thing. Thankfully, the Derision story offers hope for fashion-conscious voters. "Ed Broadbent and I have worked tirelessly together to create a new plan for my moustache," Layton is quoted as saying in the story. "Canadians know that a vote for the NDP means a Jack Layton moustache that’s more tapered to my lip line, and pressed sharply back with wax." Good news.
Too bad it’s not real, just like most of the non-satirical, supposedly serious quotes coming from politicians in this campaign. |
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