| I’m basically a skeptic. Even as a kid, I had a hard time believing that anybody could take Ouija boards seriously, but I kept meeting other kids who did.
"It really works, man! You can totally contact, like, spirits n’ dead people n’ stuff!"
I’d glance at the box. Hmmm. Made by Parker Brothers, the same company that makes the board game "Monopoly." You’re kidding, right? I mean, this is just a toy or something, isn’t it?
"No, it really, really works! I talked to this ghost once, man, it was totally creepy!"
Oh, so you actually hear the voice?
"No, dude, the little plastic thing spells out the letters."
Oh! So it moves around all by itself – you can just watch it while eating a sandwich?
"No, man, your hands have to be touching it."
At that point, I’d stare at the young zealot, and process this information. Surely this guy can’t believe that anything other than his own hands are moving that plastic dingus around the board, can he? Nevertheless, I was always too polite to criticize his goofy little superstitions. We’d try a session. The plastic thing wouldn’t move.
"Move it around a bit," I was advised. So I’d move it around. After five minutes of stirring an imaginary pot, I was corrected once again; "No no, you have to let it stop from time to time." Oh. OK. Silly me.
"W G O U Q J H. Yes D D again. Goodbye." Wow! What amazing arcane power! Let’s do that again! "H 6 B Goodbye." We’d always get the "Goodbye" message really early.
Apparently I’m not much fun to Ouija with.
Penn & Teller are skeptics too, and their current Showtime series Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (2003) is devoted to unveiling the truth behind some of our culture’s dopiest and/or most firmly held beliefs. In one episode, they reveal the Ouija board as a fake. It’s not that hard.
"Division of labour," begins Penn. "I will be debunking the Ouija board, and my partner Teller will shoot fish in a barrel." Blam! Yes, it’s an easy target, but the fun in this particular episode is hearing from real-life folks who genuinely believe in this hooey (the show isn’t all about ridiculing crackpots, though). The range of topics is almost uncomfortably wide – in fact, it’s pretty much a certainty that at least one of their targets is something you hold dear to your heart. Fortunately, their approach varies according to the targets. Frauds who intentionally bilk trusting people for money are fair game, while activists with pure intentions (but poor research skills) are handled somewhat more gently.
Some of these episodes will make you laugh, some will make you angry with Penn & Teller; and some will make you furious with the targets themselves. No two half-hour shows are the same, and some seem kinda pointless, but I found the series to be seriously addicting after awhile. Skepticism can be a good thing. The first two seasons of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! are available as two deluxe box sets – some rental outlets stock them under the somewhat gentler title Penn & Teller: B.S.! for obvious reasons.
Gleefully plowing through the entire first season of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! didn’t leave much time for watching movies this week, but I did finally get around to viewing Humphrey Bogart’s last movie, The Harder They Fall (1956).
Wow! Why don’t more people know about this terrific film? Bogart plays Eddie, an unemployed sports writer who gets hired by a corrupt boxing manager to hype a hopeless boxer named Toro Moreno. Tall and muscle-bound, Toro looks the part, but he can’t fight worth beans, and the slightest tap to the jaw sends him reeling. It’s Eddie’s job to lie about Toro’s abilities, while a series of fixed fights make the big lug into a media sensation. It’s a winning situation – the fans get a show, the managers get their money and nobody gets hurt…right? Well, nobody except for the boxer.
A poor immigrant, all Toro wants is to earn some money to send home to his family. He knows nothing about the fixed fights, thinks that he’s winning fairly, and innocently trusts his new friends. He shouldn’t. The boxing managers are making a killing off Toro, and are leaving him with debilitating health problems, an empty bank account and a crushed spirit. Plus, the whole rotten gang knows that as soon as Toro winds up in an unfixed match, he’ll get creamed. Eddie is fully aware of the ethical implications of his actions, he just wants to make sure he gets his cut of the action as he leads the unsuspecting Toro to defeat and ruin.
The Harder They Fall is an astonishing cry for justice against the sadistic and corrupt world of boxing. It’s surprising how many real boxers show up in the film to condemn their sport, and equally surprising how relevant it still is. Very much ahead of its time, and a fine film for Bogie to end his career with.
Hey, there’s an idea! I’ll dig out the Ouija board and do an interview with Humphrey Bogart! Mr. Bogart, how do you feel about the relative obscurity of your final film, The Harder They Fall?"
"V N K coffee stain 6 Goodbye."
Well there you have it. |
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