| Calgary failed miserably at this year’s Grey Cup.
That’s right – at the 2005 Grey Cup in Vancouver.
This has nothing to do with the Stampeders football team, but with the Calgary Hoedown held at Grey Cup Central called Party on the Pacific. The Calgary Letdown is a more apt name, say inside sources who were some of the few in attendance.
These sources lay the blame squarely on the $15 cover charge. Almost all other football-related drunks have free admission, which is why the sources believe the Hoedown turned into a boring sausage fest. To those who organize the Letdown, word on the street is lose the cover charge and recoup your cash on beer sales.
However, Vancouver organizers of the 93rd Grey Cup get a tip of the old ten-gallon for their efforts. Great party, fantastic game and beer sales that lasted until the third quarter of Sunday’s final. (It ran out before halftime at the 1999 Grey Cup.)
Even with the well running dry in the third quarter, though, it lasted longer than a trio of boob-flashing women in the stands. After receiving one warning to stop exposing their breasts, the implant-laden crew did their best "shirts off for Kiprusoff" yet again and found several escorts to help them out of the building.
A little flashing in the stadium, along with people dressed as water buffalo, polar bears or wearing watermelons on their heads, is normal for Grey Cup. But imagine being at a Saturday night party where the bar runs out of Pilsner and people are angry. ’Tis true. At this year’s Riderville party room, hosted by fans of the Saskatchewan Roughriders, the Pil disappeared long before 10 p.m.
Although the party animals from the Prairies, home of football’s most zealous fans, flocked to the Grey Cup in droves, their antics couldn’t compete with Vancouver’s big-city strangeness. Imagine walking down a sidewalk only a few blocks from B.C. Place stadium and looking into the window of a sports bar, only to see a painting featuring an eight-foot male protuberance on one wall, and then being passed on the sidewalk by a guy dressed up as a Blues Brother holding a rope over one shoulder and towing behind him an effigy of a football referee. Not going to happen here, or Regina, or Winnipeg, that’s for sure.
Despite all the craziness surrounding this Grey Cup, the funniest line of the weekend was uttered by a septuagenarian sitting in an aisle seat during the game. Obviously tired of a few fans in her row making frequent trips to the booze stand, followed by frequent trips to the biffy, as the gentlemen returned yet again, beers in hand, the old lady quipped, "OK, that’s enough. When you’re done, keep your empty cup."
WHO’S WASTING WHAT?
If I were a hunter, I’d be very wary of a government that wants your head and whatever brains remain inside. Sounds a bit Orwellian to me. But apparently the men in insulated camouflage suits are used to such requests from their elected officials.
As a government media release states, "those who submit a head will have their name placed in a prize draw as a means of encouraging participation."
Don’t laugh – they’re serious. Hunters of deer and elk are encouraged to drop off the heads of their kill at fish and wildlife offices, or designated freezers, to help government officials monitor chronic wasting disease in the animals. There’s fear if wild animals get this "mad cow-like" disease, it could spread to and harm elk and deer farms.
Regardless of whether that’s a good or bad thing, as someone once said, "Many consider hunting to be a chronic wasting disease." |
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