| After reading the ladies’ "losing it" stories last week, it’s clear that for most women, having sex for the first time creates a huge moral and emotional conundrum, while for boys, the biggest problem seems to be finding someone to lose it with. Oh, and not being too, er, overly enthusiastic when they finally do.
· "I grew up in a very religious family and wanted to wait until marriage. Then I almost did it with a girl I felt strongly connected with at 17, but she got weirded out because she knew my values. After that, I avoided the issue and focused my time playing music in a local band. However, being a musician who hadn’t yet had sex made me a bit of an anomaly and my friends gave me slack, saying stuff like: ‘Why can’t you get laid? What’s the matter with you?’
"By the time I reached my 20th birthday, the pressure made me decide this was the year to ‘do it.’ I bought a pack of condoms and started dating with the intent to score. Months passed until I met someone at a local bar and took her back to my parents’ house, where I decided to get it over with. Much to my surprise, it was great. I guess I was under the impression that sex would change everything about me, when really it was just fun. When we finished, she asked me how many partners I'd had and I was too embarrassed to tell her she was my first. I haven't seen the girl since."
· "The party after my high school homecoming football game was like something out of a movie, complete with live band, beer bong being filled from the garage roof, beach-ball volleyball, a bonfire and probably close to 200 people. Towards the end of the night I found myself in a bedroom with the hostess (a self-proclaimed nympho, I later found out). She handcuffed me to her bed and started stripping us both. Apparently in my drunken rambling, I told her I didn't want to lose my virginity like that. So we made plans to spend a whole day together having sex. The following Monday we both skipped school and picked up where we left off, except that we were sober and it was 7:30 in the morning on a weekday. We had Chinese food delivered so we didn't have to stop, and barely called it quits in time for me to make it to track practice after school. We were 17 then, and now, 24 and a modest number of girls later, it still stands out as one of my top 10 lays."
· "I was 21 when I finally ‘lost it’ with a girlfriend (my second girlfriend ever). Like most guys, I'd been thinking about sex since I was, like, eight. As I got older, my friends began telling me tales (albeit vague and detail-free) of their sexual adventures while I prayed to just get a date. During high school, two separate female friends with low self-esteem would insist I sleep with them when they were drunk at parties. Despite the fact that I was jonesing for sex, I didn’t go there.
When I finally lost my virginity, it was with a beautiful, smart, funny, hip, totally amazing woman who was (maybe) in love with me. It was way better than I expected. In a sort of ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ moment, the day after ‘the big event,’ kids who’d always made fun of me greeted me with a big cheer and round of applause. They'd actually bet on how long I would last and apparently I made one guy a lot of money."
· "I always thought I’d lose my virginity in a controlled setting at a much older age than I did. I was with a 16-year-old girl (I was 19) who was comforting me after I’d broken up with my girlfriend. As the night wore on and my puffy eyes started focusing on the girl who had made it all better, I started to feel weirdly drawn to her as she was rubbing my head and shoulders. I’d always thought I’d just know what to do the first time I got intimate with a woman (it was her first time as well), so I started to unbutton her blouse and she went for my belt. We continued touching and kissing until I felt something wet in my pants (they were still buttoned). She persevered with the button and I had to tell her I’d come already."
· "By age 19, I was ready to accept the possibility that I would remain a virgin for another 19 years and the thought actually took the pressure off and made me relax and feel more confident. Sure enough, I spent an entire day with a foxy chick, just having fun, oblivious to any sexual tension until we ended up back at my apartment and were standing much too close for just a friendly chat. When I got the hint, I leaned in for a kiss and next thing I knew, she was screaming ‘harder,’ between shrieks of encouragement and approval. The next day, she told me she was cheating on her boyfriend, who had given her a threesome with another girl as a birthday present on the very morning of the day she and I had met, and that we wouldn’t be sleeping together again. I've spotted her in the subway a few times, but we never spoke again."
· "I lost my virginity with a girlfriend who was also a virgin. We were prepared, used a condom and had fun. What I wasn't prepared for was how quickly I came once inside her. As a result, I kept fearing I would come too soon and worked on controlling it, so that now, almost 20 years later, I think it actually takes me too long to come!" |
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