Thursday, November 3, 2005
Calgary's News & Entertainment Weekly
FFWD Weekly
VIDEO VULTURE
by FFWD WRITERS
The dark side isn’t the only thing bad about Star Wars
At the behest of the Video Vulture, we asked some other Fast Forward writers to help us down the Star Wars walk of shame. Nobody had trouble finding material.

Pretty much everything from the mid-’80s to present day, including TV movies on the Ewok’s planet of Endor, is pretty bad.

ANDREW WEDDERBURN

The cornball shot in Episode II where the two young lovers (Anakin and Princess whatever) run towards each other, in slow motion, across a field, with arms outstretched – this scene was more touching when I saw it in a milk commercial.

MAUREEN McNAMEE

The nadir in Ewan McGregor's otherwise fairly respectable film acting career has to be his laughable line in Revenge of the Sith, "He's killed all the younglings!" Then again, the fact that he was able to say it with a straight face may have been a feat of acting in itself.

MARTIN MORROW

In Return of the Jedi, Princess Leia says, "You're a jittery little thing aren't you?" upon meeting Wicket the Ewok on the forest moon of Endor. She then proceeds to share a Rebel Alliance food ration biscuit with the teddy bear-like imp and we all learn that "gundah" is the Ewok word for "crap."

CHRISTINE LEONARD

There’s that eye-melting bit in Attack of the Clones where Anakin woos Padme by bareback riding a lumpy computer-generated creature around a fake-looking meadow.

JULIA WILLIAMS

The "I love you" moment in The Empire Strikes Back stinks like bad fish. (Princess Leia: I love you. Han Solo: I know.) Even as a seven-year-old, I knew this was a weak-ass resolution of all that built-up sexual (or "romantic," for the kiddies) tension.

TARA WITTCHEN

R2-D2 can fly in Episodes II and III, but seems to have lost his wings for the original trilogy. Crap.

ANDREW AITKENHEAD

When Anakin Skywalker finally agrees to join the dark side in Revenge of the Sith, Chancellor Palpatine does a lame growl, gurgling "Good. Gooooood!" For a second there, I thought I was watching Phil Hartman's old cheeseball impersonation of Frankenstein.

JASON ARMSTRONG

Here's a Star Wars moment for you. Chewbacca's Tarzan scream in Return of the Jedi. Evidently it was Carol Burnett under that furry costume.

BRANDON TENOLD

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