>>REVIEW
UNDEAD
Directed by Michael & Peter Spierig
Maple Pictures, 2005
Before I begin, let me just say that Australia hasn’t committed most of the cinematic atrocities associated with it. The same country that produced Walkabout and Picnic at Hanging Rock had nothing to do with Crocodile Dundee and Kangaroo Jack. Or, for that matter, Yahoo Serious.
Which is why it’s so sad to see the horrible Undead, made by Australian brothers Michael and Peter Spierig, which perpetuates the stereotype that everyone in Australia must live in the outback, wear high shorts and act like that kangaroo from the Dunkaroos commercial at all times.
From the recent remake of Dawn of the Dead to 28 Days Later, zombie movies are popular again, and the low-budget splatter flick is still one of the tried-and-true ways that burgeoning filmmakers can get into the business. That’s fine if they steer away from genre convention to make something unique, but not if you want to steal Peter Jackson’s Bad Taste and try to hide the theft with a bunch of "crikeys" and wacky music.
The film opens with Rene (Felicity Mason), recent winner of a beauty contest held by the local fishing and tackle shop, deciding whether or not to stay on her family farm or get the hell out of town. Her bewildered expression throughout the movie suggests that the decision to stay probably wasn’t for the best, especially when meteors from space start to hit the townsfolk, who quickly become grumbling zombies. These ones like to shuffle around and eat guts, too, and what passes for facial makeup instead looks like a bad case of acne.
Rene quickly meets up with Marion (Mungo McKay), a gun-toting Grizzly Adams type with the amazing ability to produce guns with unlimited bullets out of thin air and toss them around like an acrobat, à la Desperado. Also along for the ride is bush pilot Wayne (Rob Jenkins), his pregnant girlfriend and two cops (one of the Don Knotts persuasion, the other even more spastic).
They soon find themselves on the run, as most of the Australian countryside has turned into an army of zombies. The standard bait-and-chase affair ensures all characters act foolishly in order for the film to run for 90 minutes. But wait! Marion soon tells the others of how he was attacked by zombie fish in his boat, and then showered with corrosive rain by an alien space ship.
Said aliens, which at first appear as lamps with a blanket thrown over them, then later a blatant rip-off of David Cronenberg’s The Fly, have a special purpose for being on earth. See, first they built a huge wall to enclose the diseased zombie folk and their victims, then they use the rain to… never mind. Besides forcing the female characters to parade around in their drawers (zombie hunting is sexier in a negligee), it also provides the resolution to the dumbest plot in recent memory, which is so bad that it’s worth the price of the rental.
The Spierig brothers can’t decide if they’re making a sci-fi horror film or self-conscious satire. The last few minutes, while the best, are the most tragic, as they give a hint as to what could have been – a genuinely new approach to the tired zombie genre. Instead, what you’re left with is the same old squirmy blood and entrails banality. |
Copyright ©2005 FFWD. All rights reserved.