| Dear Josey,
Lately I have been quenching my sexual urges by having girls urinate in my mouth and getting off on it so quickly and completely, it's alarming. I'd like to know if there are health risks associated with this practice and whether you have any insight into how such a desire would develop.
Dear Tinkle,
Don’t feel too bad about your predilection for pee. According to an article about drinking pee on www.rotten.com, "in some cultures, urine drinking is considered perfectly acceptable."
A Chinese news report from 2001 said that more than three million Chinese drink their urine to stay healthier.
Even our four-legged friends are into it. "Domesticated reindeer, subsisting in the harsh habitat of the Arctic Circle, happily permit their keepers to urinate directly into their mouths, appreciatively guzzling down the warm, mineral and vitamin-rich moisture."
And, given the absolute glut of "urolagnia" – or "water sports" – sites online, you’re hardly alone.
That’s because pee fits so nicely into the profile of things people tend to fetishize, according to fetish authority Katherine Gates (www.deviantdesires.com), who says, "most lifelong fetishes develop around objects that have a strong ‘touchy-feely’ or ‘smelly’ component."
No one knows what "causes" fetishes, says Gates. She believes it’s a complicated combination of genetics, memory (memory and smell are strongly connected) and culture (pee is considered dirty and taboo, making it ripe for fetishizing).
As for risks, well, pee itself is sterile, but it can pick up bacteria on the way out. That’s why the doctor gives you a Wet Nap and tells you to collect it mid-stream when you give a sample. You’d be wise to adopt the same technique when drinking other people’s pee. But, warns rotten.com, "there are certain viruses and bacteria that can be transmitted through the urine (such as Cytomegalovirus [CMV] or Hepatitis B Virus)." And, if you have tiny tears in your mouth, these allow viruses and bacteria to enter your bloodstream.
So, all I can say is, know your pee source and stock up on Wet Naps.
Dear Josey,
I am an East Indian male and my penis and asshole are kind of dark. Do you have any suggestions for products that I could use to lighten both my penis and my anus?
Dear Wanting,
As Village Voice columnist and anal enthusiast Tristan Taormino (www.puckerup.com) wrote in a recent article about anal bleaching: "…anal bleaching is based on the idea that there is one perfect shade of ass […]. I'm not interested in all of us having identical coochies! Plus, the butthole has gotten a bum rap to begin with, being characterized as dirty, private, asexual and taboo. Now it needs a makeover, too?"
Couldn’t have said it better myself.
If you’re still interested in sporting a lighter, brighter penis and bum, the Pink Cheeks salon in Sherman Oaks, California, which specializes in brightening bums, has developed its own anal bleaching cream – a product less harsh than most bleaching substances – that customers can apply at home to lighten the area. I called to find out more and got a very perky answering machine message – "leave a message and we look super forward to speaking with you" – but you can call and speak to them yourself at 1-818-906-8225.
According to an article about anal bleaching on www.crappersquarterly.com (a very entertaining website devoted to all things poopy), the salon’s Cortney Lofton says, "the pigmentation around a person’s anus is a genetic issue. Just like hair colour, breast size or any other bodily characteristic, everybody is different. Some people have a brown winkie."
Frankly, I think messing with what God gave you down there is asking for trouble, but as someone who gets bikini waxes and dyes her hair, who am I to judge?
If you do get hold of the cream, just don’t get carried away. Lofton explains how she had to tell one female client to stop using the cream after six weeks because her anal area was so white she practically glowed in the dark!
Dear Josey,
My boyfriend and I want to have a threesome, but we don't know where to start. I don't want to ask a friend, as it might be awkward and affect the friendship. But I don't want to pick up a strange girl that might have God-knows-what diseases.
What options are available that would allow us to experiment without risking our health?
Looking For Some Good Clean Fun
Dear Looking,
Passing judgment by assuming a gal who’s willing to have a threesome with you must be some disease-ridden skank is exactly where not to start. And while you can take precautions to protect your sexual health (of course, condoms and dental dams can’t protect you from everything whether you’re with one, two or 10 people), I think you need to spend a little more time thinking about protecting your emotional health if you do go through with this. While you may fantasize about having a threesome, you need to consider that reality doesn’t always live up to fantasy. The reality might be threatening, make you feel silly, scared, even crazy jealous when you see your partner schtuping another woman. So before you worry about how to find a third party (you’re right that friends are a risk – I suggest using on or offline personals), prepare yourselves emotionally.
Watch some porn together that includes threesomes and talk about how it makes you feel. Go to a strip club together and buy your partner a lap dance. That way, if uncomfortable stuff comes up for either of you, you can just leave.
Try threesome phone sex first and see how that makes you feel.
The key to making a threesome work is, as with most things sexual, communication. Feelings of jealousy and insecurity may still take you by surprise, but at least if you’ve talked about it beforehand, you are more psychologically prepared. |
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