Review
D.E.B.S.
Written and directed by Angela Robinson
Columbia Tristar, 2004
It turns out that there is a secret hidden test, planted by the U.S government, inside the SAT that measures high school girls’ aptitude to lie, cheat and kill. If a lucky young girl scores high on this diagnostic exam, she gets to join D.E.B.S. – a secret exclusive school that trains unbelievably hot girls to become killer she-spies with attitude. This premise could’ve launched an entire franchise – think Spy Kids for the teen girl squad. Instead writer-director Angela Robinson decided to make a subversive lesbian satire. If she’d pushed the envelope rather than the agenda, D.E.B.S. could’ve been one firecracker of a popcorn flick. Instead this girl on girl power movie sucks.
Lucy Diamond (Jordana Brewster) is a gay criminal mastermind who has just come out of hiding to go on a blind date with the luscious Russian assassin Nonotchka (Jessica Cauffiel). Amy (Sara Foster) and her schoolgirl-uniform wearing teammates Max (Meagan Good), Janet (Jill Ritchie) and Dominique (Devon Aoki) are the D.E.B.S. assigned to track her and figure out what evil deeds Diamond is up to. When the date goes bad, bullets fly, and when Amy corners Lucy, opposites attract.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m a sucker for a good socially conscious shot-in-the-arm film about homosexuality and equality, provided it’s well executed. D.E.B.S. isn’t. It looks terrible, the acting is weak and Robinson relies too heavily on pithy clichés and slapstick when decent dialogue or story development would have done the trick.
And just who is this film aimed at? Adults? No way – D.E.B.S. is far too juvenile. It has a PG rating, which means that kids might go. But they won’t because it doesn’t have the action of Charlie’s Angels or the intelligence of last year’s wonderful satire Saved. The gay community may rally and support this film with its positive message of tolerance and individuality, but D.E.B.S. is so stupid that its message is the only worthwhile element of the film and that’s just not good enough. Movies like Better than Chocolate and But I’m A Cheerleader do a much better job at showing us that satire and social consciousness can coexist in the same film.
The real shame about D.E.B.S. is that it wastes such a great, high-octane concept. If Robinson had really committed to exploiting the premise and bumped the lesbian love story to subplot, then maybe we could’ve seen an engaging teen thriller instead of a lame gay-support group after-school special. |
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