Review
THE HONEYMOONERS
Starring Cedric The Entertainer, Mike Epps and Gabrielle Union
Directed by John Schultz
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Ever wanted to kick the snot out of the dimwit who suggested a film version of The Beverly Hillbillies? Had a hankering to slap the twit who proposed Leave It To Beaver The Movie? Oh, don’t forget My Favorite Martian. And The Avengers. And McHale’s Navy. And The Saint. And.…
Aw cripes, here comes lunch. Best quit while I’m ahead.
With such a procession of recycled shit, your rage is justified. And chances are, it’s about to red line with the release of The Honeymooners.
Ahhh, but there’s a gimmick attached to this routine redux – it’s an urban version of the ’50s sitcom, as a black cast takes on the misadventures of Ralph Kramden and chums. And, like everything else associated with the concept, it’s a crummy idea.
This isn’t a black-and-white issue, though. Hell, this story would suck in any colour. Honestly, what’s next…Queen Latifah and Antonio Banderas as Lucy and Ricky? Screwing with material as timeless as The Honeymooners can only taint the memory of the original. And make no doubt about it, the new and embarrassingly unfunny Honeymooners movie makes for one big-ass blemish.
For starters, Cedric the Entertainer is a questionable choice to fill Kramden’s loafers. He’s energetic, yes. Beefy? Check. Appropriately caustic? Pretty much. But that Jackie Gleason growl just ain’t there. Bernie Mac would’ve been a better option. And Mike Epps as Norton? Well, he has the "dumb" down pretty good, that much is certain.
Gabrielle Union and Regina Hall play Alice and Trixie, Ralph and Ed’s respective wives, and in this script, that’s about all you need to know about them – they’re wives. Wives, unfortunately, without much pluck. (Even Alice’s obligatory fat jokes towards Ralph, always a staple of the TV show, are delivered by her mother.)
Watch any Honeymooners rerun and it’s evident that the real magic of the show was Ralph’s hilariously uptight chemistry with Alice. What a shame that the husband-wife relationship is shoved to the back seat, replaced by a series of lame get-rich-quick schemes involving bus driver Kramden and sewer rat Norton. Here, the duo has to somehow replace the cash for Alice’s dream home that Ralph has pissed away on his hair-brained ideas before an evil land developer (Eric Stoltz) scoops up the duplex for himself. There’s something to be said for a movie that depends on John Leguizamo for a few laughs – and it’s not good. |
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