Review
THE M WORD: WRITERS ON SAME-SEX MARRIAGE
edited by Kathy Pories
Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 179 pp.
In her preface to The M Word, editor Kathy Pories describes her frustration with the impassioned letters-to-the-editor and newspaper editorials that we have all seen, if not written, on the subject of same-sex marriage: "Everyone was writing about it, but in short takes, invoking slippery-slope arguments, all of which felt oddly out of balance to the issue at hand."
Pories is right, of course. Whether you support or reject the idea of same-sex marriage, most people have a knee-jerk opinion on the matter, and a ready willingness to dismiss the opposing perspective. This collection of personal essays, by gay and straight writers, attempts to present a more in-depth and thoughtful analysis of the same-sex marriage debate than we have seen in the media.
In "Jamie’s Wedding," Wendy Brenner is the "perennially single straight woman" from an abusive childhood, who discovers an unexpected sense of family and belonging in the act of walking her friend Jamie down the aisle at his gay wedding.
George Saunders’s biting "My Amendment" pushes the rationale against same-sex marriage further, proposing (sarcastically) that we also outlaw same-ish sex marriages.
Francine Prose takes a more esoteric approach to the subject, speculating on what would have happened if Oscar Wilde had married his gay lover, while Alexander Chee paints a sadly realistic picture of the role that marriage rights play in family tragedy.
All 11 writers ask engaging questions: What is marriage? What is a good marriage? What is family? They seek answers in family photographs, film, literature, history and humour.
Readers looking for a debate, however, may well be disappointed. The voice of opposition to same-sex marriage finds its way in through the back doors of these essays, perhaps speaking loudest (but not persuasively) through the homophobic, orange-haired Grandma Aldona of Wendy McClure’s essay about her two aunts. There are no quotes from the Bible to be found, here, just well reasoned arguments for equality and compassion.
Dan Savage, in his essay, "Double Standards," perhaps addresses the same-sex marriage debate best. "The problem for opponents of gay marriage," he writes, "isn’t that gay people are trying to redefine marriage but that straight people have redefined marriage to a point that it no longer makes sense to exclude gay couples."
If you are a supporter of same-sex marriage, nothing in this collection will surprise you. If you are an opponent of same-sex marriage, it will put your views to the test.
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