R. KELLY AND JAY Z
Unfinished Business 2004
Jive
· Collaboration between a man who’s retiring and a man who really, really hopes he doesn’t go to prison. What could go wrong?
R. Kelly: "Oh my eyes, my perverted, perverted eyes."
Jay Z: "I’m gettin’ too old for this shit."
OK, let’s start with the fact that Jay Z announced his retirement with the release of The Black Album earlier this year. Apparently he failed to tell anyone that the retirement would start after this collaboration with the embattled R. Kelly. Now, you can imagine that ol’ R. needs a slam dunk – a certified hit to help pay for his legal defence fund (what with the child porn-underage girl scandal in one, no, make that two states). Maybe Kelly has some compromising photos of Jay Z, because serious-ass blackmail is the only explanation I can think of for Jay Z delaying his retirement. So they record the album and R. Kelly presumably finds another bunch of photos, so Jay Z agrees to go on tour with him to support a record that screams "cash grab." Then things get interesting, with R. turning around and suing Jay Z for (get this) $75 million ’cause someone in Jay Z’s crew pepper-sprayed him. Maybe Jay Z should’ve wondered what was going on when R. Kelly didn’t thank him in the liner notes but did thank his trainers "and all those who supported me in health clubs around the world to keep R. Kelly in shape and flowin’." I swear: I’m not making any of this up (except maybe the part about Jay Z getting blackmailed).
Suffice to say that this album can’t live up to the circumstances surrounding it. R. Kelly raps like a man imitating a little girl rapping (insert your own joke here, people) while Jay Z offers what sounds like his most disinterested production effort ever. Terrible.
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