Review
PAPARAZZI
Starring Cole Hauser, Tom Sizemore and Robin Tunney
Directed by Paul Abascal
Now playing
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If nothing else, Paparazzi gives the likes of Sean Penn and Alec Baldwin a feel-good film to cuddle up with.
Mel Gibson, too. He, along with buddy Bruce Davey, produced this silly revenge flick about a Hollywood star who fights back against relentless tabloid reporters. Gibson himself even pops up to get his digs in, and he must have convinced chums like Chris Rock, Matthew McConaughey and Vince Vaughn to do the same – all wander by with knowing smirks at some point.
But does any A-list talent actually commit to anything more than a split-second cameo? Not a chance. They realize what a chunk of ham Paparazzi is. It’s a concept that, unless your name includes the words Van or Damme, big stars shouldn’t touch. Thus, your headliner is Cole Hauser and the director is Paul Abascal.
Altogether now – who?
Let’s see, Hauser was the bad guy in 2 Fast 2 Furious. Abascal was Mel’s Lethal Weapon hairstylist. Now, I realize even Scorsese had to get his start somewhere, but I have trouble envisioning Marty calming De Niro’s pesky cowlick.
The story has Hauser playing up-and-coming action star Bo Laramie (sort of a Steven Seagal, minus the extra lining of pound cake). Fresh off his debut in the blockbuster Adrenaline Force and ready to get the cameras rolling on Adrenaline Force 2 (geez, perhaps Laramie should smack the crap out of his agent instead), the celebrity is taunted by a slimy photographer (Tom Sizemore) who snaps intrusive pictures of Laramie’s family, such as his son (wee Blake Michael Bryan, just one human-head factoid away from Jerry Maguire’s Jonathan Lipnicki territory) playing soccer, or his wife (Robin Tunney) sunning her assets.
When the shutterbug and his coldhearted co-workers not only cause a car accident of Princess Di proportions, but hover over the carnage to get the pics, Bo goes Bronson on their sorry asses. The end.
The eye-for-an-eye message within this dud doesn’t exactly do much to excite or uplift. With so many famous faces playing peekaboo, not to mention Dennis Farina’s inane Columbo act as the cop overseeing the case, Paparazzi would’ve made a decent lampoon. Unfortunately, Abascal’s movie is just too dumb to play dumb. |
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