| Election campaigns can be downright pathetic spectacles involving a lot of sucking up to the local populace.
Take May 28, when both Liberal leader Paul Martin and Conservative head Stephen Harper hit town and tried to outperform each other in their role as most ardent Calgary Flames fan.
First there was Martin’s carefully choreographed photo-op in the Flames’ dressing room. Dozens of reporters crammed into the sweat-saturated room to watch Flames captain Jarome Iginla present Martin with a Flames jersey. Martin spent a few minutes grovelling over several Flames while the players awkwardly smiled.
"You are Canada’s pride. You are Canada to me," he uttered, virtually prostrating himself in front of them in hopes of scoring some elusive Alberta votes.
"The Liberals and the Flames are the same thing," he said in both English and then French.
The attempt to capitalize on the Flames fever didn’t end there. At a Liberal rally at the Chinese Cultural Centre later in the day, several candidates wrapped themselves in Flames jerseys as well.
Meanwhile Harper stepped off the plane in Calgary the same day decked out in a Flames jersey and, at a Conservative rally later that evening at Canada Olympic Park, all of his candidates were resplendent in red.
"These guys look a lot better in Parliament than on the ice," he joked about the candidates. "But they do remind me a little bit of our Calgary Flames. They have a good game plan, they work as a team, they have a leader, they’re free of scandal and they’ll win."
For Harper, coming home to Alberta as Conservative leader was a bit like presiding over a monarchy. I mean, it’s not much of an election battle when candidates from conservative parties have won every riding in Calgary since 1968.
Meanwhile, the Liberals made a valiant, carefully orchestrated effort to at least look like they had a chance at winning a seat in Calgary. At their campaign rally at the Chinese Cultural Centre, the party had boxes of Alberta-specific T-shirts to give out to the crowd. They were red, of course, with the word "Paulberta" emblazoned on the front alongside images of oil rigs and mountains. Top 40 music, dating back to Martin’s youth, blasted over the speakers. The crowd was quite ethnically diverse and looked well-heeled.
Martin delivered the same tired message. To paraphrase, the Conservatives will destroy Canada. Vote for the only choice you have to prevent the Conservatives from utterly gutting social programs – the Liberals. As Martin left the venue, fresh-faced youth voters formed a line on both sides of him chanting "Paul-berta! Paul-berta!" Hopefully, Martin isn’t overly inclined to look to the sky for omens. As he climbed into his campaign bus a thunderstorm broke over the city.
Harper, however, may like the omen he saw – after the rain stopped, a huge rainbow hung over the Conservative campaign rally. Seriously. The crowd, which was largely made up of white senior citizens predominantly clad in jeans and the occasional cowboy hat and boots, was jubilant at the prospect of being able to vote in a prime minister. Soon-to-retire Conservative MP Deborah Grey bounded up on stage to introduce Harper and got a rousing cheer after asking, "I say it’s time to throw the pot lickers out. What do you think?"
Meanwhile Harper, who is not the world’s most dynamic speaker, must have felt like a bit of a rock star because the crowd kept interrupting his speech with chants of "Harper! Harper!" To sum up his speech, the Liberals are a bunch of corrupt, arrogant weasels who don’t deserve to govern again. Give the Tories the reins.
With such similar messages and photo-ops, it wasn’t much of a leap to think the most apt sentiment of the day could be found on a sign that a member of the Calgary Anti-Capitalist Collective held up as Martin left his Calgary rally.
"Conservatives and Liberals = Same Shit, Different Pile." |
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