| The Swan on Fox and ABC’s Extreme Makeover are solid ratings hits. That means more plastic-surgery-driven TV vehicles will be on their way soon. One can only hope the new shows will be just as sleazy as their predecessors.
I award kudos to Extreme Makeover and The Swan for their dehumanizing side-by-side "before-and-after" shots. I particularly enjoy the "before" videos with flabby, sad-looking ladies wearing saggy, prison-issue grey underwear tops and bottoms.
What’s also nice is the Terminator-type camera trick of spinning the after images from profile shot to full frontal aspect with on-screen graphics scrolling through the long list of physical alterations. The full-meal deal usually features a large helping of liposuction, some nose work and the almost-obligatory boob job. Which begs the question: Don’t TV plastic surgeons realize that a matched set of round handfuls looks just fine in most tight sweaters and bikini tops? Why the women on these shows have to have their chests continually raised to ludicrous girl-on-the-auto-parts-calendar proportions eludes me. It seems that, to the producers of The Swan and Extreme Makeover, any breast enhancement that doesn’t result in a bust that will cause gawking men to get into fender-benders isn’t worth doing.
While these shows have taken heat for sending dangerous you-are-not-OK-as-you-are messages to impressionable young people, I think they also deserve abuse for something else. Namely, for being degrading, self-congratulatory programming that serves as a convenient nesting ground for cosmetic dentistry and skin-enhancement commercials.
To me, these programs are missing an obvious marketing opportunity by not offering a 1-800 number where people can order some of that "before" shot underwear. Loose, grey, shapeless skivvies – soon men everywhere will see them on their special lady and say, "Ah yeah, baby, those are soooo sex-ay!" |
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