Review
NEW YORK MINUTE
Starring Mary-Kate Olsen, Ashley Olsen and Eugene Levy
Directed by Dennie Gordon
Now playing
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My seven-year-old has developed better storylines playing with her Barbie dolls than the screenwriters developed for New York Minute, the first big feature for Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. But then, in watching this thing unravel, one has to wonder if this movie is indeed for daughters or daddies.
First, we see one of the adorable Olsens (and please don’t ask me which one – who in the name of Saget can tell these two apart?) in the shower. No real nudity, mind you. But then we get lotsa leg with a ripped skirt. Later on, after getting sprayed with a hobo’s beverage, the twins sneak into a hotel suite and strip down, one emerging in a robe, the other sporting just a towel. Are ya getting the picture here?
I’d say titillation, but something tells me, until these two are legal, that’s a scary word.
Since the days of soaking John Stamos in drool on Full House, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have churned out dozens of kids movies, with topics ranging from horsies to choo-choos. With New York Minute, the twins are out to show the world and their fans (which, for all we know, could be two entirely separate entities) that they’re all grown up. Physically, the girls are certainly getting there. On a maturity level though, the jury’s still out.
The story has Mary-Kate and Ashley playing twin sisters (damn, great casting, huh?). One is a goody two-shoes, an obsessive-compulsive Republican (note the George W. Bush bobblehead doll in her room), heading to New York City for the day to deliver a speech that could land her a scholarship. The other is a bad ass rock ’n’ roll slacker (note the Avril Lavigne wardrobe), ditching school to see her favourite band, A Simple Plan, play in Manhattan.
Pursued by an overzealous truant officer (the hilariously hapless Eugene Levy, funny even when his material isn’t), the movie takes on a Ferris Bueller-feel, complete with an earnest hugs-all-around finale in which the estranged sisters bond. Wow, didn’t see that coming.
Like everything they do, the Olsen’s Big Apple excursion is big on hype. But once the decidedly creepy peek-a-boo show is over (can’t director Dennie Gordon save the voyeuristic approach until his stars at least graduate from high school?) it’s clear the movie is really no big deal. |
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