| This is the second installment of the story of an idealistic Canadian and his life mission to convince the world that capitalism, free trade and democracy are the paths to peace and prosperity. We find our hero in the clutches of a band of Islamic fundamentalists on their way to fight the American imperialist aggressors in Afghanistan.
Overwrought at seeing his mentor, the great liberal economist Lamsid Ecneics, thrown into a gorge, Earnest started planning his escape. Before risking certain death, however, he called on his mentor’s spirit to guide him, asking himself, "Earnest, what would Lamsid do?"
His mentor had always said that some violence and destruction of traditional ways was an inevitable side-effect of the western democracies’ efforts to create a capitalist utopia on Earth, but he had never mentioned the possibility of being a victim himself. "At least," thought Earnest, "I am comforted by the thought I can carry on my mentor’s work." Earnest resolved to not give in to despair and to work harder to spread the word of liberal economics.
The fundamentalists forced Earnest to pull their cart loaded with American-made anti-aircraft missiles because their donkey had a sore leg. Putting his resolution into action, Earnest began repeating his favourite lecture on the efficiency of the market and the benefits of privatizing utilities. They would occasionally curse his western soul and throw stones at him, but Earnest persisted.
After a week of cart-pulling, lecturing and hiding from American planes, Earnest was exhausted. One hope kept him going – that he might convince his tormentors that corrupt, autocratic governments, not capitalists, were the real enemies of the world’s poor. Suddenly, a hail of bullets descended from the rocks above, killing all except Earnest and the donkey.
Earnest watched the Afghan fighters appear from behind rocks and strip the dead of their weapons. Their leader introduced himself as Zardad Gulbuddin, the warlord for the area, and asked Earnest how he had ended up in the mountains of Afghanistan. Earnest told his sad tale.
Gulbuddin found Earnest’s story amusing, and told him, "Well, my pathetic idealist, you are in luck. I will give you a first-person lesson on the wonders of the free market."
Earnest was surprised by the Afghan warlord’s understanding of economics. Gulbuddin explained, "No warlord can survive long without understanding the ideologies fighting over this land. I am versed in communism, Islamic fundamentalism and Washingtonism."
Earnest tried to explain that globalization was an economic model designed to end poverty, not an ideology. Gulbuddin dismissed him and said, "Only an ideology can pull a man away from daytime television, put a gun in his hand and send him to Afghanistan."
After two days of travel – the Afghans at least made the donkey help Earnest pull the cart of missiles – the group arrived at the camp of an arms dealer, Manucher Khashoggi. The warlord Gulbuddin sold the missiles – they were of no use to him now that the U.S. Air Force was on his side – and threw Earnest into the deal, claiming he could help Kashoggi with his U.S. operations.
When Earnest protested being sold, Gulbuddin said, "Welcome to the free market. For me, you are a mouth to feed, less important than the donkey. Now you know that, in Afghanistan, an economist is worth two guns and 300 bullets."
Kashoggi simply looked at Earnest and said, "You will not talk economics here. You will shut up and keep track of my inventory or I will kill you."
For four months, Earnest travelled through Afghanistan and northern Iraq, keeping inventory of the weapons Kashoggi sold to the Kurds, Turkomans, Afghanis, Pakistanis and various Iranian and Iraqi Muslim groups. Kashoggi traded freely with anyone with enough gold, drugs or U.S. dollars.
On occasion, Kashoggi would be visited by Americans. When Earnest asked about them, Kashoggi glared at him and said, "They are my financial advisors. Talk to them and I will kill you."
Finally, Kashoggi declared that he had sold enough goods to keep things hopping in the region, so it was time to replenish the inventory. The dealer’s caravan drove all the way to the Balkans, bribing their way through Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Russia, the Ukraine, Romania and Bulgaria.
Everywhere they went, Kashoggi would stop at local army posts to buy more weapons and purchase trucks and drivers as his inventory grew. At each post, the general in charge would pay Kashoggi to sell some of the weapons to rebel groups in the neighbouring country, and unless the general in the next country came up with more money, Kashoggi would deliver the weapons as ordered.
Every night, Kashoggi would lecture Earnest on how the arms and drug trades were the only free markets and should be a model for global development. Earnest wanted to explain that capitalism must have some regulation, but the arms dealer threatened to kill him each time he talked economics.
Next: How Earnest fares in the Balkans. |
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