The Donovan rant
Another Canadian director goes south.
REVIEW
THE TUXEDO
Starring Jackie Chan
Directed by Kevin Donovan
Opens Friday, September 27
Check listings
I am not a lumberjack or a fur trader, but I don’t mind perpetuating the myth.
I don’t live in Toronto or Vancouver, I’ve got a place on Cahuenga Boulevard.
I know Jackie, and Jennifer Love, and I hope to meet Spielberg someday (and I just know he’ll be real nice).
I have a prime minister, but I don’t mention the comments he made at the G8 for fear I’ll piss off my new friends.
I speak English and a smattering of French, but it all becomes American in the end.
If I hang around in Los Angeles long enough, I’ll stop saying "aboat."
I proudly inject mindless, jingoistic, American patriotism into my feature films.
I believe that violence makes a buck, that sex sells tickets, and that the beaver is something I can’t shoot because my movie would get an NC-17. Jackie Chan is a movie star. Jennifer Love Hewitt is a recording star. And The Tuxedo is not a bad movie ,it’s a good movie – good, I say. Canada is the home of talented actors, directors and comedians, the place they leave behind when they want to get famous, and a good place to go to avoid the U.S. draft.
My name is Kevin Donovan. I directed the Molson's "Joe Canadian" rant. And now I’m just another Hollywood stooge directing crap like The Tuxedo.
Thank you. |
