| The biggest balls of them all
When strangers say to me "Even a dimwitted chimp could write the Mr. Smutty column," my initial response is a knowing guffaw. "Har!" I retort. "Not unless that chimp has Internet access." Without the ’Net, how on Earth could I locate all that great "material" about humanity’s inherent stupidity? (Not to mention the hot celebrity gossip.)
While self-preservation instinct dictates I keep said sources secret (they’re the bread & I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Butter of my literary "career"), I’m more than happy to share another of my online discoveries: the best photos of dudes who have incredibly enlarged nuts.
Of course, our interest in such matters stems from an intellectual curiosity as to the extreme limits of human experience (and skin), and not from the insensitive thrill of shrieking "Oh sweet Lord, look at the size of that dude’s nuts!" And, when we e-mail said photos to friends, it is because they (like us) have a keen interest in medicine and would’ve gone to med school if only it weren’t so darn expensive. Never one to constrain intellectual growth, I’m hardpressed to pick a single "best" photo. So, in the spirit of High Fidelity, I humbly submit my Top 5:
5. http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/images/de3.jpg – A troika of overgrown fellas, like three peas in a tragically misshapen pod.
4. http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/images/heavyweight.jpg – More glum chums letting it all hang out.
3. http://elephantiasis.freeyellow.com/eleph-fiji.gif – Just like that AC/DC song.
2. http://poetry.rotten.com/stillfried/ – Did they really have aquamarine leg-warmers in the 1870s? Beats me, but they sure had huge nuts.
1. http://www.stink-ant.com/lookwhosknocking.htm – Not safe for work. ’Nuff said. |
