It's such a fine line between stupid and clever
More than a feeling, it's Moustache Rock 666
PREVIEW
MOUSTACHE ROCK VI
May 17 & 18
The Night Gallery
It's that time of year again, the time when Ram Jam and Mountain fans come out of the closet to gather at The Night Gallery for the club's sixth annual Moustache Rock long weekend. So, how do you know if you have an inner Moustache Rocker lurking underneath that Weezer T and corduroys? Take the following test and find out – we'll see you at 'stache Bash Six.
· You're stuck for a line for your next non-Top 100 song and pull out one of the following ol' faithfuls: "do you know wut I mean," "yeh yeh yeh," "oooh yeah," "baby baby" or the truly golden "mama."
· You fall asleep and wake up to the (mel)odious tunes of Budgie, Molly Hatchet, Rose Tattoo, Lynyrd Skynyrd, BTO or Black Oak Arkansas.
· You haven't been the same since Randy Rhoads died.
· You know that Ted Nugent has never, and never will be a PETA or vegan activist.
· When a groupie corners you... oh wait, you don't get groupies.
· You've actually requested someone to remove the peanuts from your frozen Oh Henry candy bars.
· Your favourite pick-up lines are: "Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven?" "Wanna grab a quick shower on the tour bus?" and "We just redecorated our van – wanna feel the new carpet?"
· Your bumper sticker reads: "I brake to boogie."
· The guitar solo in "Eruption" makes you bleary-eyed, emotional and inconsolable for hours.
· To you, disco = death.
· Aside from Pabst Blue Ribbon and Pilsner, your favourite duo of all time is Brian Robertson and Scott Gorham.
· You have a mushroom tattooed on your ankle and know that the Allman Brothers were hiding more than a single spliff on the cover of their Live At Fillmore East LP.
· You own clothing items with leather tassels.
· You proudly don't own a single "Unplugged" album.
· You love songs that take up half a bloody album, songs that you once listened to on your walkman while pushing quarters into arcade games at the Wizard's Castle in Sunridge Mall.
· Maintaining your feathered coif is everything. You even carry a hair pick in the back pocket of your excruciatingly tight black jeans – just in case it gets a little windy.
· Your dream car as a teen was a Firebird. Your dream car now is an all-stock Barracuda.
· You liked Edgar Winter before he started composing movie scores for Hollywood.
· Your parents are still asking you to cut your hair.
· You know that D-Minor is the saddest of all keys.
· You're the middle child.
Moustache Rock is an annual rawk fest in which local bands (and a couple from Edmonton) throw on ’70s threads, glue on hairy moustaches (’cause not many indie rockers can actually grow ’em), and play covers of guitar rock tunes from the ’70s. The grand prize is the infamous Golden Wah Wah Pedal and the illustrious privilege of being titled the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla for an entire year. The Dudes continue to win the event year after year – make sure you show up to see who’s providing their competition this year. Remember to throw on proper attire. All proceeds from the event go to the Alzheimer Society of Canada. |
