| HEARTBREAKERS: LOCK UP YOUR RICH GRANDPA TOUR
REVIEW
STARRING Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Gene Hackman
DIRECTED BY David Mirkin
Opens Friday, March 23
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The curtain opens. The spooky music swells. The camera sinisterly sneaks up to a charming church. Then the scary part jumps at you... four writers – AAAGGHH!
Heartbreakers is the story of a mother-daughter team combing the country looking for stupid rich men. The mother (Sigourney Weaver) marries the poor sap, and the sexy daughter (Jennifer Love-Hewitt) sets them up in a compromising position, resulting in a nasty divorce and a big payoff for the two con women.
Alas, their perfect setup is in jeopardy when the daughter wants to cut loose and take her act solo. Mom thinks she’s too green to pull a hustle on her own and convinces her to be the bait in the ol’ "Marry ’n’ Dump" grift one last time. They set their sights on an ancient, wheezing bag of smoke who happens to be a gazillionaire (Gene Hackman. Heh. Funny... Hack-man).
Anyhoo, the kid tries to start her own action on the side without Mommy-dearest’s knowledge and, wouldn’t you know it, she goes and does something stupid like fall in love. The guy who loves her back (Jason Lee) doesn’t know her real name, doesn’t know what she does or anything else about her. Gee, do you think he’s actually in love with her "Hew-tits?"
Well, as you can imagine, nothing goes to according plan and it just gets worse until everyone learns a lesson about how wrong it is to go around ripping people off.
This star-packed movie is oppressed with overwriting and overacting. Jokes that would have stood on their own are propped up by lame retorts. Love Hewitt, while not assisted by her dialogue, storms petulantly through every scene. Sigourney just alternates between stiff and over-the-top.
On the bright side, Ray Liotta has lots of fun with his jilted groom-goodfella character and Gene Hackman chews up the scenery with his liver-spotted curmudgeon.
There is an added bonus: you can test your Simpsons trivia, as director David Mirkin (day job: Simpsons producer) has thrown in a couple of references to that show for his own amusement. This uneven comedy in the vein of Carry On and Pink Panther movies with a liberal dose of Black Widow is at best a mildly amusing rental for a rainy/snowy Saturday. |
