FFWD Weekly
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Video Vulture
by John TebbuttAccording to Robin Williams, the best way to do an impression of former U.S. president George Bush is to "take John Wayne, and then tighten up his ass." Apart from that little nugget, you dont come across too many "recipes" for impressions, so I thought Id do my bit by listing a few handy tips for doing impressions of a couple of famous movie villains. Give them a try and have fun but dont blame me if you sound stupid.
· Dr. Evil from Austin Powers: Lets start with the basics. Dr. Evil is an extremely popular "party voice" character; in fact, North Americans do 373 Dr. Evil impressions every minute. (Actually, I just made that statistic up.) Non-verbals are important for this character, so pout and stick your pinkie in your mouth. Take a few stabs at "One meeeeeeellion dollars!" to get warmed up, and then move on to less overworked lines like, "Sh! That is a pre-emptive Sh!" or, "I only ask for one simple thing, and that is to have sharks with frickin lasers on their heads!"
If you really want to wow em, memorize the entire "shaved scrotum" monologue. Now youre cooking with evil gas!
· The Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz: Throw subtlety out the window and cackle till the neighbours phone 9-1-1. Use your shrillest falsetto, but make it sound like youve been smoking five packs of unfiltered Marlboros a day. Good lines include: "Poppies...paaaaaawwwpies..." and, of course, "Ill get you my pretty... and your little dog too! Ahahahahahahahaha!!!" Above all, project. If babies arent crying six blocks away, youre doing it wrong.
· Ghostface from Scream: The whole shtick here is menacing phone calls, so pick up a real phone or whatever reasonable facsimile is within reach. (In a pinch, just stick out your thumb and pinkie to make the "top secret gadget phone" à la Inspector Gadget cartoons.) To do the voice, start with your best Jerry Seinfeld "Hello, Newman" voice, and make it sound as evil as you possibly can. "You like scary movies?"
· Darth Vader from Star Wars: An old favourite. Everybody tries to do this voice, usually failing utterly due to two things: (1) they are not James Earl Jones; and (2) they dont have an echo chamber handy.
Try this: Root around in your kitchen until you find a really big stainless steel saucepan (the bigger, the better). Hold it up over your face, but leave enough of an opening for the sound to echo out. Aim the opening at your audience. When youre ready, bellow, "Luke... I am your father" in your deepest, baddest voice. Dont forget to do that weird breathing thing. Impressive. Most impressive.
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