FFWD Weekly
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Food by Beth Weisberg No voting alliances, no manipulative strategies, no sideways looks, no alphabetical selections. This game is all about finding the tastiest, coolingest, newest canned or bottled way to soothe a throat parched by the summer heat. The ultimate survivor of summer 2000 drinks will win on points for smell (1), mouth feel (1), taste (2) and thirst-quenching ability (1) for a possible total of 5. Our tasting panel of three thirsty judges (A, B and C) rounded up the participants from the shelves of the Shun Fat International Supermarket, the Atlas Speciality Supermarket, Edelweiss Village, Sunnyside Market and Ikea. With the crack of the first can, the contest begins. Who will reign supreme? · There she is on the label, a smiling 1950s beach teen pin-up, leaning over a can of Chin Chin Brand Asparagus Juice. The can is so pop art we can’t resist, but the mixture of boiled asparagus ("20% pure") and sugar prompts Taster C to give a 0.25 "only because I didn’t spit it out." A combined score of 0.4 out of 5. · Wonderfarm Brand Jackfruit Drink spills out of the can in a Tang-coloured stream – the unprintable remarks about the odour spill after it. It tastes much better than it smells, not unlike a mango drink missing part of its flavour, but the taste can’t pull it above a 1.1. · Hom-D Brand Pandan Drink is a sugar-water concoction based on pandan leaf extract. Although pandan leaf is a Southeast Asian flavouring, the drink doesn’t give much insight into pandan’s taste. It is a pretty green, though. Here’s an idea: why not use it to make jewel-like ice cubes that won’t dilute your drink? A 2.2, and no more Martha Stewart. · The first whiff of Sun and Dragon Brand Young Coconut Juice carries the tang of a bag of tortilla chips. Can’t be good news. The drink is sweet, almost flowery. Not a thirst-quencher. A disappointing 2.3. · Arvand Brand Sparkling Yogurt Beverage is a B.C. product based on a Persian-style mint-flavoured drink called doogh. This is Taster C’s ultimate summer drink: cooling, refreshing, light – a 5. A and B aren’t convinced. "Minty and sour," they say, as if it’s a bad thing. Yogurt’s not the only thing getting watered down here: an unjustly low combined score of 2.9. · Ackee is Jamaica’s national fruit. The ripe cooked fruit is a scrambled-egg lookalike – the unripe version causes Jamaican vomiting sickness and hypoglycemia. No need to fear eggs or poison in your beverage – Bedessee’s Jamaican Gold Carbonated Ackee Drink is flavoured with extract from the seed. Taster A loves the root beer-like flavour, but Taster B is unimpressed, flattening the score to a 3.1. · We’re not saying where we bought Swedish Lingonberry Concentrate. Let’s just say mixing the drink falls into the do-it-yourself realm. This is good stuff – tastes like cranberry with a hint of raspberry. A well-balanced 3.4. · Wonderfarm Brand White Fungus Bird’s Nest drink seemed like the likeliest loser, but the combination of sugar-water, dried bird spit and frilly mushroom bits actually tastes like mild cream soda. Even with a slightly thick mouth feel, an astonished Taster C admits: "Hey, it’s not revolting!" A 3.4. · The English label for Mahyar, another Iranian drink, says "baby cherry syrup." Charming, but better translated as sour cherry syrup. There are no directions for dilution, so we resort to experimentation. A nice clove note blends with the cherry taste: A 3.9. · The bird’s nest lover knocks back what looks like a crumbled Shreddie scuffing ’round the bottom of the bottle of Yat Chau Brand Bird’s Nest with Coconut Juice. The rest of the drink is deliciously coconut-y. This gets 4 shells out of 5. · Sarsi Sarsaparilla soda comes in a blue, white and red can that closely resembles a certain cola. The flavour is no rip-off though, earning 4 points for a vigorous root beer-like taste. · Zora’s Lemonade Concentrate is a Calgary concoction, a just-like-grandma-used-to-make blend of sugar, organic lemons and tartaric acid. All of us love the sweet/sour balance and refreshing lemon taste: 4 squeezes out of 5. · Hero Cassis Soda, or as the Dutch call it, Frisdrank met Zwarte Bessensap, has an irresistible black currant smell. The flavour is like a good créme de cassis. A luscious 4.2. · At last, the winner: Sagiko Brand Calamansi Drink. There’s a mandarin tang to the mouthwatering smell, not surprising as calamansi is a hybrid of mandarin and kumquat. Instead of just a sip each, we finish off the whole can and dream up new ideas: making granita, or mixing with gin or tequila. A stupelicious 4.5, and our choice for the ultimate summer 2000 drink.

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