FFWD Weekly
Copyright © 2000. All Rights Reserved

Viewpoint
by Hamish MacAulay

Dear Joe Clark, Presto Manning, Stocker Day and Tom Long:

Call me crazy for writing to the four of you, but one of you could be the first king’s man with a real chance of putting Humpty Dumpty back together since the Mulroney gang wasted everything we built on Constitutional reform, Liberal-style patronage and the GST. I’m not talking about the Canadian Alliance leadership race. That race is only the start. A Calgary Centre byelection between Big Joe and the Canadian Alliance’s first leader must happen if we want to rebuild a United Conservative party (the name suggestion is free).

This idea is not mine. I understand that some Alliance fellow floated it, but didn’t want his name attached to the balloon. All I can say is the thought of a mano-a-mano, winner-takes-all, battle royale for the leadership of Canada’s right wing left me and every single one of the boys in my farm-implement showroom drooling and occasionally giggling at the majesty of the prospect. With that said, I am quite willing to face your accusations of mental instability and put my name behind this great turning point. I have no doubt that this is the best chance we have of uniting the right and giving Chretien and his boys a run for their money.

Writing about it is getting me all excited again. I’ll try and stick to the details, or Mitzy will put the no-caffeine cola in my rye again. The idea is simple enough: whoever wins the Alliance leadership asks the gentlemanly Eric Lowther to step aside and make way for a byelection. Mr. Clark is waiting for the right opportunity to run for parliament and lead his party, so he throws his hat into the same ring.

All that is easy enough, but, as always, the most important step is also the most difficult. This time, it is a leap of faith for our two conservative parties and their leaders. They must shut the gate behind them and declare that if they lose the election, they will resign, join the winner’s party and do everything in their power to bring the right together. The schism must end here.

Is it a gamble? You bet, but not as much as it may seem. The reward is the Holy Grail, and losing does not mean political oblivion. You will know the personal satisfaction of taking one for the team and giving us long-suffering conservatives a reason to hope. As Joe knows, if all goes well, there is also the potential for a cabinet position somewhere down the road.

The boys and I have talked up this idea a hundred ways to Sunday. We agree that there is something poetic and heartwarming about high noon for the conservative movement taking place in the middle of Calgary, but there are flaws. We just aren’t comfortable putting the entire future of Canadian conservatism into the hands of a bunch of avocado-eating, SUV-driving Calgarians. While it does beat leaving the decision up to some wagon-jumping conservatives in suburban Toronto, can we depend on a bunch of urbane city-types to make the right choice?

After all, these folks think that owning a bronze statue and wearing cowboy boots for 10 days a year – even if they hurt – makes them an Albertan. I’ve got news, there’s a big difference between someone who signs up for a party because the guys at the Chamber of Commerce luncheon said everyone is doing it, and someone who follows a blinding faith that has breathed life into his family’s politics for five generations. But, I digress.

It’s not mentioned in the Bible, but I’m sure there were flies in Eden as well. At least there aren’t enough federal Liberals or other political flies in Calgary Centre to mess up the results. All you fellows have to do is call it like it is, winner takes all. If you have the guts to do that, for the millions of Canadian conservatives suffocating under the boot of Liberal oppression, the light through yonder window is the sun.

Still crazy like a fox,
Stanley "Buzz" Angus

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