FFWD Weekly
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| Music by FFWD Staff Melanie Doane with The Philosopher Kings On this, the day after perhaps one of the happiest days of musician Melanie Doane’s life, I want nothing better than to ruin it. Armed with dishonorable intentions and what I assume to be some dirt about her husband – provided quite innocently by Melanie’s publicist – I casually drop the fact that before Melanie was called up to the podium to accept her Juno Award for best new solo artist, her husband had made a $20 bet that she’d lose. "I know," she laughs. "I was hoping (he’d bet against me) because he always loses and that was the kindest thing he could have done – it was a show of love." Before I go any further, I should probably point out that my reasons for wanting to drive a wedge between the East Coast songwriter and her actor husband (I hear all actors are gay, by the way) has nothing to do with me wishing any harm upon Melanie. On the contrary. It’s just that what better scoop could there be than to be the spark behind divorce proceedings for an increasingly popular national musician? Alas, with that dream laid to rest, there’s little left for me to do but congratulate the incomparably charming fiddler on her win, which comes on the merits of her second full-length album – best new artist? Oh those Junos! – Adam’s Rib. Not that it really should have come as a surprise. The 12 tracks of coyly personable contemporary pop songs were the class of a field that for once actually included two other notable canuck up-and-comers: Emm Gryner and Hayden (still not really that new, now is he?). But still, Adam’s Rib, led by its first single, the infectiously defiant and empowering title track, was a shoe-in. Melanie couldn’t possibly have been caught off guard. "Yeah, absolutely," she says. "I had a moment just before and I thought, ‘It’s okay that I’m not winning and I’m totally cool with that,’ and I had a very deep understanding moment – and then they said my name. So that was very cool.... "I think people are just starting to put two and two together," she says about her growing and much deserved success. "‘Adam’s Rib’ was great because they all knew the song, but people didn’t know who I am. So now they’re starting to put a face to the sound of music and clueing in to the person, which is nice." At this point in the interview, she has to put the phone down to receive a bouquet of flowers that have just been delivered to her front door. Claims that they were in fact from me – in a final feeble effort to encourage marital unrest – are dispelled when the flowers are accompanied by a note. No, they’re not from her husband, but the sender is hardly the cause for jealous rage. "Can you believe this? ‘We are thrilled to hear of your wonderful evening. Congratulations on your Juno, Love Chantal Kreviazuk and Chris, her manager.’ Is that amazing or what? "Now, there’s a good story." No, I point out to Melanie, that’s not a good story. The scoop you offer me is a warm and fuzzy story about acceptance into the national diva ranks by your labelmate? No. No, I say. I will not have it. I demand satisfaction and compensation in the form of some award show dirt. A behind-the-scenes fracas involving Ashley McIsaac and the striking CBC technicians... and their duct tape? A hilarious mix-up with The Headstones and an unmarked jar of coffee whitener? Something, anything. "I have a rock star story but it’s really lame," she offers. "At the very end of the night – of course I’m elated and everything – I walk by Geddy Lee and shamelessly introduce myself and touch his hand and he talked to me and he was really nice. I know it’s not dirt, but he was pretty cool." Was he at least shooting up, with a $14-hooker on each arm? "No, I think he had like a V-8 – is that any good?" Let’s try this one more time: what was the most memorable part of your Juno night and please try and include the words "debauchery" "illicit" and "waffle irons"? "The best part was leaving Copps Coliseum and my song came on the radio and we cranked it and screamed and stuff.... "This isn’t good dirt – I’m really letting you down," she says, finally getting it, before launching into the words I so longed to hear. "And then I said to my husband, ‘It’s over, I want a divorce right now! I saw you necking with Celine Dion’s husband.’ That’s what happened. I saw her husband and my husband necking." Now I’m pretty sure she said that for my benefit, but if, on the odd chance Melanie wasn’t joking and that whole actor thing is true, please remember where you read it first. |
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