FFWD Weekly
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| CRUISING THE COSMOS HOROSCOPES FOR JULY 2 TO 8 CANCER: Next week it'll seem like your opportunities are drying up all around you. That's just because the Moon, your ma, is mad at you and has moved to the opposite side of the Houses. Don't worry. She'll come around soon and the water will be flowin' once again. Besides, what mother could stay mad at her favorite child forever? LEO: You don't always need a cause to bust out those claws, but you'll have one all the same this week. The damn hyenas are runnin' wild and they're threatenin' every man, woman and child. Looks like you'll have to protect your pride by skinnin' their mangy hides. VIRGO: Times are pretty tense right now for you and it's starting to make you all blue. Well, before you get out the harmonica and the scotch, have another look-see at the situation. Before you can sing your first verse, you'll see a whole lotta people who've got it way worse. LIBRA: With the Moon in your sign, you'll have your head in the clouds, but you'll be too high to see how dark they really are. Not that things are foreboding for you. It's just that your love for people will be a little overpowering and make you an easy mark. Y'know, you're not so far beyond that you can't get conned! SCORPIO: Pay heed, mortal! Neither mock nor challenge the supreme powers of the Gods that have given you this boon! You may have conquered on this earthly plane, but in the higher realms of existence you are still as a gnat to a fire-breathing dragon! Do not attempt to fly too close to the Sun, Icarus, else you will fall when your waxen wings melt! SAGITTARIUS: Things'll be sailin' super smoothly at the start of this week, but you'll have a little voice in the back of your head tellin' you that it's not gonna last for long. Don't freak. Listen to it. Nothin' lasts forever and few things are as fleeting as success. That only means you've gotta make the most of it now. And how! CAPRICORN: It's a good time for business, buddies. On Wednesday, when Moon moves into your Earth sign, you'll be solid as a rock and people will feel secure dealin' with you. Hell, you'll be such a hot salesperson you could sell furnaces in Ecuador if you wanted to! AQUARIUS: Recently you've been working to add to your nest egg, but suddenly you've stopped and decided to sit on it for awhile. Well, the longer you sit on it the more likely it is to hatch. As in going bust before its time. Are you ready to see your fortunes fly away yet? PISCES: There are two ways to deal with the dilemma that you've been dealt. One is the way of self-sacrifice, which is peaceful but painful. The other way is war and unh! Good God! What is it good for? Absolutely nothin'! Looks like you're gonna have to bite the bullet on this one, bucko. ARIES: You may be the fiery and fearsome God of War, but you're only fightin' yourself. Luckily, this can only last for so long because sooner or later you're gonna run out of fodder for the fray. And for you, my friend, that'll be a very happy day. TAURUS: Hey! Lazy ass! There's no way to escape from life and you can only hide from it for so long. Get offa the couch before we have to scrape you off with a steel spatula! Yeah, that may sound fun to you now, but the further you sink in, the more force'll be used to flip you. GEMINI: Just wait one second there, speedy! You may be the quickest sign in the Zodiac, but you can't attack the ones that hold you back with their lack of alacrity. That's just the way it be. Some folks aren't as fast and people all have their own pace. This ain't no race and we're all gonna make it to the finish line, so what does it matter who has the fastest time? |