FFWD Weekly
Copyright © 1998 All Rights Reserved.
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| VIDEO VULTURE A good movie can leave you humming the tunes for weeks afterwards. Better stick to humming, though; some of these lyrics will get people looking at you funny if you sing them in public. Don't expect any of these movie songs to show up on karaoke playlists. · Theme from Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1980): "Attack of the killer tomatoes!/ Attack of the killer tomatoes!/ They'll beat you, bash you, squish you, mash you/ Chew you up for brunch/ And finish you off for dinner or lunch!/ They're marching down the halls/ They're crawling up the walls/ They're gooey, gushy, squishy, mushy/ Rotten to the core/ They're standing outside your door!/ Remember Herman Farbage/ While taking out his garbage/ He turned around and he did see/ Tomatoes hiding in his tree/ Now he's just a memory!/ I know I'm going to miss her/ A tomato ate my sister/ Sacramento fell today/ They're marching in San Jose/ Tomatoes are on their way!" · "The Queen's Revenge" from the film Forbidden Zone (1980): Queen Ida: "There she is!/ Eyes so sweet! What a shame that soon they'll be/ Glowing like some burning coal/ When I turn on the heat!" (Frenchy spits on the Queen) Queen: "Impudent/ Surly bitch!/ Soon you'll sing a different song/ You'll plead for mercy/ Then forgiveness/ When I throw the switch!" Frenchy: "You don't scare me now/ You don't scare me ever!/ Asking you for mercy or forgiveness? No! Never!" Chorus: "Gonna throw the switch!/ Gonna throw the switch!/ Give it to the bitch!/ And give her plenty!/ Make her scream, ty um tiddy um tiddy um, aieeee!/ Give her all the juice!/ Give her all the juice!/ 20,000 volts in her caboose/ Will make her see the error of her ways!/ She is gonna pay!/ Frenchy is gonna pay!" Queen: "Look at her/ Acting tough!/ Well that's fine for now honey!/ I've got plenty time to play/ And sweetheart, I play rough!/ Getting late/ Say goodbye!/ Time to meet your fate!/ And I do hope that you're thinking of me/ When you start to fry!" · Theme from The Blob (1958) - this strangely soothing ditty sounds like it would be more at home on a TV commercial for Tide than a horror movie: "It creeps/ And leaps/ And glides/ And slides across the floor/ Right through/ The door/ And all around the wall/ A splotch/ A blotch/ Be careful of the Blob.... (Oral pop.) Beware of the Blob!" (Repeat endlessly.) · Theme from Grendel Grendel Grendel (1980) - this otherwise charming film has the worst score I've ever heard: "Grendel, Grendel, Grendel/ Your mother loves you Grendel/ Standing there, all 12 feet four, or more of you/ Mother loves every hair, every scale, every tooth, nail, fang and claw of you/ Grendel, Grendel, Grendel, Grendel/ Grendel, Grendel, Grendel/ Your mother needs you Grendel/ Listening nightly at the door for you/ Mother loves every grunt, every groan, every howl, moan, wail and roar from you/ Grendel, Grendel, Grendel, Grendel/ While other people Grendel/ May not even like you Grendel/ The feel, the size and scale of you/ The smell, the eyes and wail of you/ Are all too much and much too scary.../ Perhaps if you weren't so green... and hairy!" · "Titan's Song" from the animated Hercules and Xena: The Battle for Mount Olympus (1998): "We're the Titans: we rule the day/ We'll make the Gods and little humans pay/ We'll bury them beneath our feet of clay/ We're the Titans: we're okay/ Boom shaka laka laka boom shaka laka laka boom boom." · "Cabin Fever" from Muppet Treasure Island (1996): "Cabin Fever has ravaged all aboard/ This once proud vessel has become a floating psycho ward/ We were sailing, sailing, heading who knows where/ And now, though we're all here... we're not all there/ Cabin fever! Yeah!" |
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