FFWD Weekly
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| CRUISING THE COSMOS HOROSCOPES FOR JUNE 18 TO 24 CANCER: Just when you need it, you'll get exactly what you asked for in the middle of next week. Yep, when the Moon enters Cancer on Tuesday you're gonna be luckier than a mosquito at a nudist colony. Just make sure you don't suck up too much of the motherlode or you could explode. LEO: You lions may love your pride, but it looks like the time has come to swallow it if'n you wanna get ahead this week. No, that don't mean you gotta become a cannibal animal. It means if you stop thinkin' you're so high-falutin', the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune will quit shootin'. At least for a little while. VIRGO: You have a feeling that you've outrun 'em, but don't check to see. It don't matter whether it's a dream or a nightmare, right now is not the time to look back over your shoulder. Watch where you're going or your chances of stumbling and falling are better than you wanna know. LIBRA: Well all you balance beam boys and girls, by the weekend you'll be well aware that it's time for the scales to tip again because they been too damn even for too damn long. Best wait 'til the New Moon on Tuesday before you weigh one side down with your wants. That way your chances of getting a good chunk of change to keep it counter-weighted will be increased. SCORPIO: So you're together with one of the most beautiful people in the world, someone so incredibly comely that you almost can't stand to make eye contact with them. They glow with such an intensity that it seems like they are their own source of illumination, independent from the Sun. Until this weekend when someone tells you they have a hair outta place and all of a sudden you can't even look 'em in the face. Are you dumb? SAGITTARIUS: When it comes to completin' it, creepin' around will only bring you down. Besides, you're a kid who wears the jumpsuit of Jupiter, the most sizable solid sphere in our solar system. Who the hell is He gonna hide behind - Saturn? No way, Jose. And if He can't hide, how can you? CAPRICORN: You already know that maintaining peace means you have to behave yourself no matter how inspired you may be to do otherwise, but maybe you have to hear it. Well, you heard it. Besides, the only way to influence the actions of others is to have control over yours. AQUARIUS: Don't let it get the best of you, Aquarius. You should know better than that by now. You're the Water Bearer and what good are you if you have no H2O? That's precisely why, when you're totally empty with nothing left to pour out, the Universe will completely fill you up again. All you gotta do is open up and let it in. PISCES: You'll be blasted with a blazin' bolt of buttkickin' kinetic energy this week, and if you don't find the best way to conduct yourself you'll be burned to a crisp. Make sure you're well grounded in your reality and the lightning will take the path of least resistance to the Earth through you, instead of burning you up. ARIES: Oh, you Rams, with only one thing on your mind, succumb to your lust and you'll probably find that your glands have again gotten you into a bind. But if you're righteous and solid, instead of sleazy and squalid, you'll divert all that energy to the daily grind. TAURUS: This weekend, with the Moon in your sign, you'll be in a spendin' mood. Spreading the wealth is fine, but there's only so much of it that you have to go around. And, unlike bullshit (of which you have a lifetime supply), you have to work in order to get it. Spend less, work less. That's no yoke. GEMINI: For a livin', breathin' yin-yang symbol like yourself, you should know that you can't have light without dark, happy without sad, and that when it gets darkest, there's a little point of light in the middle of all that inky blackness. Well, starting with the New Moon on Tuesday, your little point of light is going to get bigger. |
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