FFWD Weekly
Copyright © 1998 All Rights Reserved.
| FILM Forget the bedwetting until the age of 24, the inexplicable childhood fear of manila envelopes, or even the odd habit of referring to myself as Captain Maple Pants until my mid-teens - if you want true insight into my psychological make-up, come with me as we pay a visit to Christmases past. It doesn't matter which one, they were all the same: their laughter, my tears, a 100-proof trifle, spin-the-bottle, honey-glaze leg waxing - nothing too terribly out of the ordinary except for one small thing. While most families were gathered around the fireplace roasting chestnuts and drinking punch, me and my clan were huddled around the television set watching the most festive of holiday favorites, Slap Shot. To this day, the 1977 classic starring Paul Newman as player/ coach Reg Dunlop of the fictitious American hockey team the Charlestown Chiefs holds special memories for me and millions of others. From the opening TV interview where Jim Carr learns the finer points of hockey from Chiefs goaltender Denis Lemieux, to the ill-fated fashion show where captain Johnny Upton in an ensemble titled "Omar Sharif" sends the crowd - with the exception of his wife - running for the exits, and, finally, the victory parade which passes by the theatre with Deep Throat on its marquee, everything is pure comedic magic. And The Hanson Brothers? The trio of shaggy Buddy Holly goons who help change the fortunes of the beleaguered Chiefs squad? Icons. Three of the most recognizable film references around. At the recent Oldtimers hockey game, a puffy Tiger Williams was jumped by faux Hansons to the delight of the crowd. That could explain why the three men who portrayed Jeff, Jack and Steve Hanson would give up their day jobs 20 years later to make a living by being The Hansons full-time. A Budweiser sponsorship deal, almost 100 paid appearances a year (reportedly $2,500 plus expenses), merchandise, and a rumored Slap Shot sequel in the works. Not bad for three characters whose onscreen time doesn't even come close to a quarter of the film. "The Hanson Brothers, really, if you cut down their appearances in the movie it was such a minimal part, yet we made such a big hit," explains Dave Hanson, the god who played Jack Hanson in the film. "When people talk about Slap Shot it's not about Newman, Ontkean or Jennifer Warren - it's The Hansons." He's right. While everything in the film is perfect, numbers 16 to 18 are somehow more perfect. Lines like "Fucking machine took my quarter," "You broke the darn car," "You think they show Speed Racer, here," and "I'm listening to the fucking song!" only come around once in a lifetime and we should all be thankful for the messengers. Sadly others don't see it that way. "We had an unfortunate thing where the NHL came out and publicly stated that they didn't want anything to do with us because Mr. Bettman's office felt we were not conducive to the image that the NHL wants portrayed," says Dave. "Quite frankly, we did take offense to that. Even though Slap Shot showed a violent part of the game, it was certainly a slapstick violence. Anybody that has a sense of humor should be able to realize that. "We probably are the greatest ambassadors of the game as far as getting out and promoting hockey as a colorful and fun sport. "We literally shake hands with thousands and thousands of people and their perception of us is the fun, goofy looking guys that put on the foil and beat people up. The fans relate that to fantasy, but, on the other hand, to the great game of hockey," he says with pride. And to this day, what's the greatest thing about hockey? Fuck it, I'll say it: the fights. Two evenly matched guys standing toe-to-toe chucking knuckles, getting tired out and then patting each other on the ass and saying, "Great scrap." But those days are almost over, done away by the instigator rule, chicken-shit stick work and a league run by lawyers. That's why Slap Shot is such an important film. It lovingly portrays an era that we all yearn for and it captures the spirit of the thing. Old time hockey. Toe Blake. Eddie Shore. Oggie Oglethorpe. It's a true-to-life document of the past and a shrine to the game. There really were Hanson Brothers except they were The Carlson Brothers - Jeff, Jack and Steve, and they were on the Johnstown Jets, not the Charlestown Chiefs. When Jack wasn't allowed by his new team to take time off for the filming of Slap Shot, they used their teammate Dave and his last name. Subsequently, the character of Dave "Killer" Carlson is actually based on Dave "Killer" Hanson. The screenplay itself was written by another player's sister who based it on actual locker room dialogue and incidents. "Other than the striptease and a few other outlandish things it was pretty well a historical depiction of the Johnstown Jets in the North American Hockey League," Dave says. "Of course the game has changed since then, in some areas for the better and in some maybe not for the better." But we'll always have Slap Shot. So fathers, sons, mothers, daughters, have yourself a nap, enjoy this rare showing of a well-worn print on the big screen (complete with its original soundtrack), and start some family memories that you'll cherish for the rest of your lives. |