FFWD Weekly
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| HOROSCOPE HOROSCOPES FOR JANUARY 29 TO FEBRUARY 4 PISCES: Time to face some facts, fishie. You're a spawn of Spirit and the only way you'll be able to hold your head up with pride in the pond is if that's the school you swim in. Trying to be an evil eel and slinking around with 'em will only end up with you gettin' eaten. ARIES: A little bit o' luck will drop a couple bucks in your pocket this week. Now, this'll have an inordinate amount of "friends" hanging around like flies on you-know-what. Spending money on sugar to attract and capture this army of insects who will help you conquer the world just won't work. Once the sweet stuff's gone, so are they. TAURUS: You'll be a lot happier (and probably richer) in the long run if you look at people in a different way. Being the sign closest to the Earth, and sometimes known as the Gardener of the Zodiac, you should know that the planet only pays you aplenty if you treat it proper like. You need to nurture it and be kind. And aren't people walkin' chunks of Earth? Just 80 per cent H2O with some carbon, zinc, iron and shit? Plant a seed in one, be kind to it and watch it grow. GEMINI: Okay. So you put one and one together and got three. Although that's what happens every time, it ain't exactly what your math book taught you, is it? Don't worry. You can't help it. Take comfort in knowing that you may be nuts, but at least you're not insane. CANCER: Well kiddo, this is it. Time to make the big decision about what you're gonna do, now that you've made one about what you've done. As much as you love everyone, keep 'em at arm's length this week. As a water sign, it's easy for you to stay on the surface and reflect those around you. What you need to do now is dive into your depths and find out just what is down there. LEO: Victory is yours just 'cuz you're King and/or Queen of the Jungle and you kick ass! As far as you can see, all is yours. No one dares defy you in your domain. Well, not no one. Okay, lotsa people. Oy! Whatta headache it is keepin' a kingdom, huh? VIRGO: Due to sheer, unforeseen bad luck (i.e. falling in love), you realize you're not really in control of the situation anymore. The waves keep crashing down and you keep going deeper and deeper. It's funny, isn't it? They say that drowning is one of the more peaceful ways to go, but who woulda thought it felt so good? LIBRA: Only a fool believes that success equals pleasure. Sure, it can for a while, but if pleasure only comes for you from things that you can only get by being successful, then your life becomes about success. If pleasure comes from just being alive, then it don't matter if you're successful or not, which is exactly why you will be. Now take that hooey, start a multi-level marketing company and don't say nobody ever did you any favors! SCORPIO: You'll be pretty tempted in the middle of the week, but gettin' your kicks by usin' your poison stinger on the people around you will get you in deep doodoo. Everyone knows that to take care of a scorpion, surround 'em in a ring of fire. They'll sting themselves to death. Won't you? Care to find out? SAGITTARIUS: Cast off the chains of oppression that bind you, slave! Whether it's someone else's ego, your own fears, or Babylon breakin' your back, this weekend is when you can break free. Mars will give you the gusto to do it and the tool to do it with. Wrought in the hottest fires this side of Hades, this wondrous weapon works only if you wield it wisely, for you can use it only once. Will it be on freedom or on a foe? CAPRICORN: Just be yourself and... waitaminnit. Let's put that another way. Just be your best behaved self (or at least make it look that way to everyone) and the situation will be swiftly swept to solution. AQUARIUS: You've been watching the world and (like the smart little Air sign you are) you've learned much from all you've observed. Now you have the opportunity to take this accumulated knowledge and put it to use. The problem is you've got more crazy ideas than you can shake a New Ager at. Well, you ain't gonna get nowhere unless you get together all the ones that'll really work and retire the rest. |