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FOR DECEMBER 18 TO 24
CAPRICORN: Wealth is like the weather: it comes and it goes. But being an Earth sign you rock with the natural rhythms of the world. You know it ain't enough to harvest, you gotta plant if you want somethin' to be there after the winter, too.
AQUARIUS: Enough is enough! By the weekend you just won't be able to stand it anymore. It's time for you to take control. The only problem is that to take your piece you'll have to break the peace. So you might as well bust it up real good.
PISCES: This weekend you'll realize that the reason it seems as if the Universe is tryin' to trip you up is because you keep goin' the wrong way. Turn around and you'll see that It's only been tryin' to set you free.
ARIES: You might as well stay in bed at the beginning of the week. You won't be able to make up your mind about anything, and when you do it'll be the wrong decision. Somebody somewhere must be tryin' to teach you somethin'. If they'd only made their lessons more likable, school wouldn't be so bad.
TAURUS: It's time to take stock, T. Examine your inventory and you'll see that downsizing is definitely in demand. It may be hard for you to stand, but some items are gonna have to go at rock bottom prices. At least it's better than a going-out-of-business sale.
GEMINI: Just because you start somethin' doesn't mean you have to finish it. But once you set the ball rollin' it sure do pick up speed, don't it? Besides, be honest. An affair would be a lot of fun. Wouldn't it?
CANCER: Maybe the reason you aren't happy with what you have is because you're under the illusion that you'll get what you want when it comes to you. Wrong. When Opportunity knocks you gotta get off your lazy ass and answer the door.
LEO: There's nothin' that drives you Leos loopier than bein' low man on the totem pole and takin' orders. Especially from your lunkhead leader. Not much longer, though. Sharpen them claws and put some more into your roar, there's definitely a coup in the future for you.
VIRGO: Ahh, Christmas. A time when the whole dysfunctional bunch gather together to remind themselves why the kids left home in the first place. In a moment of compassion and understanding, though, you'll realize what it is that you have in common. Heck, you might even begin to like each other
LIBRA: You'll only be disappointed if you try to pull the puppets' strings. They'll just get tangled and you won't be able to get anything from 'em. What you need is the help of someone who's a master at marionette manipulation. Just make sure there's no strings attached.
SCORPIO: Whoa there, swifty. Things aren't exactly the way they seem to be. You ain't dealin' with angels here. One wrong move and all Hell could break loose. Next time you get an instinctive impulse, pass or you might just get a pitchfork up yer ass.
SAGITTARIUS: Oh, there's no doubt it's definitely a doomed relationship. Don't waste a minute trying to make it remain. Use that time enjoying it while it's happenin' right now. Does somebody have to tell you how?
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