FFWD Weekly
Copyright © 1997. All Rights Reserved.
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By FFWD StaffSigns of the Apocalypse or 10 Reasons Why I Drink
An enlightening pamphlet circulated at the recent Fringe Festival in Edmonton reveals the 10 Reasons Why I Drink: 1) I love to vomit. (Who doesn't?) 2) It makes my children respect me. 3) My wife loves my whiskey breath and beer-bleary eyes. 4) Drunkards and saloon keepers make the best citizens. (Undisputed.) 5) It helps me win the safe-driving award. 6) I want to encourage juvenile delinquency. 7) It helps me think more clearly. 8) It's my way of saving money. 9) I hope to live in a "flophouse" on Skid Row someday. (Doesn't everybody?) 10) It's my way of obeying God, Who says, "Wine is a mocker, strong drink is ragin; whosoever is deceived thereby is not wide." - Proverbs 20:1 (Say what? Go back to number 7.)
The pamphlet, credited to Christ in Action, warns that America is on a toboggan - Americans drink 83 million barrels of beer in one year and spend nearly $9 million for intoxicating liquors (is there any other kind?) versus $5 million on public education. "Unless we stop, God will curse America!"
Fortunately, we live in Canada, so it doesn't apply. Cheers! (Be sure to check out our special microbrewery feature in this issue.)
Brewpub Cookbook
There's more than one way to consume beer - and I don't mean guzzling as opposed to sipping. Presumably most people know how to drink it, but what about eating it? Stephen Beaumont, a recognized authority on beer and author of Great Canadian Beer Guide and A Taste for Beer, says beer is second only to water in its versatility as a cooking liquid.
"To my mind, there does not exist a beverage more suited to cooking or dining than beer - not milk, not spirits, not even wine," Beaumont states in his latest release, Stephen Beaumont's Brewpub Cookbook: Great Recipes From Great North American Brewpubs (Macmillan Canada).
The book includes more than 100 recipes collected from 30 of Beaumont's favorite brewpubs from Honolulu to Halifax. The recipes include starters, side dishes, entrées and desserts with beers such as ale, lager, porter, bock or wheat beer among the ingredients - Gila Monster Eggs, Irish Potato and Bacon Soup, Red Tail Pasta Salad, Dragon's Last Breath Chili, Northwest Salmon Poached in Apricot Ale, Porter Beef Ribs, Jalapeño Beer Bread, Albion Amber Tart, etc. In addition, the cookbook has an extensive glossary of beer styles, information on pairing beer and food, a history of brewpubs in North America, and more.
Tom the Dancing Bug
Coming with a fake title (All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From My Golf-Playing Cats) to trick the mass-market book-buying public into spending their money, Tom the Dancing Bug (NBM) by Ruben Bolling is actually a collection of cartoons from the popular weekly comic strip of the same name.
The "irreverent alternative comic strip" appears in an eclectic mix of papers - from the Washington Post to the Stranger in Seattle - and takes swipes at every level of life and politics. New York resident Bolling's recurring cast of characters include the likes of Harvey Richards, Lawyer for Children, and Sam Roland, the Detective who Dies (over and over), as well as The Dichotomies of Bob, and others.
The strip's popularity has grown in the past year to include 50 newspapers with a readership of four million. Tom the Dancing Bug is scheduled for release in September. For more information, see the NBM Web site.
More completely useless facts
· The two-foot long bird called a Kea that lives in New Zealand likes to eat the strips of rubber around car windows.
· It would take a one kilogram weight one hour to fall to the bottom of the Marianas Trench, the deepest part of the ocean (35,839 feet).
· Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
· The only person to be elected to both the baseball and football Hall of Fames is Cal Hubbard.
· The Looney Tunes song is actually called "The Merry-Go-Round is Broken Down." (And there's even a swing move named after it.)
· Pennsylvania was the first colony to legalize witchcraft.
· Giraffes have no vocal chords.
· Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady" was written about Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe.
· Every Swiss citizen is required by law to have a bomb shelter or access to a bomb shelter.
· The saguaro cactus, found in the Southwestern United States, does not grow branches until it is about 60 to 75 years old.
(Source: Deb and Jen's Land O' Useless Facts)
Web watch
The Real Beer Page's Canadian Beer Index claims to be the most complete source of information about Canadian beer, breweries and brewpubs. The site includes up-to-date news and information, articles by beer authority Stephen Beaumont (who is currently touring Europe), Canadian beer events, contests and more. You can also access specific information about each province and territory, such as its breweries, brewpubs, clubs and associations, and festivals.
While you're there, be sure to vote for your favorite Canadian beer from microbreweries and brewpubs. The results are recorded by month with a complete listing for each year. So far in 1997, the favorite beer from a microbrewery is Creemore Springs Premium Lager (local mentions include Canmore's Bow Valley Brewing Company and Calgary's Wild Rose Brewery). The brewpub beer with the most votes is Coffee Porter from C'est What? (local mentions include Brewsters and Mission Bridge).
Free Stuff
Fast Forward is giving you a chance to win one of 10 "Britannia Rules" film passes from the Globe Cinema. The double passes are good for the Internationally Yours Film Festival finalé Trojan Eddie, showing August 29 to September 4; Her Majesty Mrs. Brown, now playing; Monty Python and the Holy Grail, on Sunday, August 31 at midnight; the preview of Full Monty, showing Wednesday, September 17; and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, playing Friday, September 26 at midnight. To win, drop by FFWD during office hours with a donation for the food bank and name actors from three of the films featured.
Fast Forward also has 10 double passes for the Saturday, September 6 midnight showing of Planet of the Apes at the Uptown Screen, presented in part by Rotoflex Records and Budget Ape Recordings. To win, drop by FFWD with a donation for the food bank and name all five of the Planet Ape films.
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