FFWD Weekly
Copyright © 1997. All Rights Reserved.
Buzz speaks out
Success in government means privatize or die
By Hamish MacAulayDear Mr. Paul Martin:
I know you're busy deciding Canada's economic and political future, but I thought it was time for a drop of reality and a short note from your favorite Western correspondent. You know I'm a businessman not a politician, so I will cut right to the sales pitch. I haven't fleshed out my latest dab of political insight just yet, as you know I'm more of an idea man, but I think privatizing Revenue Canada will win you the hearts of the West and the next leadership convention.
With an uninspiring election behind you and years of meaningless, caretaking government ahead, you Liberals must be desperate for something to excite the nation. At least, something other than watching your impotence take the country to the brink during the next Quebec referendum. Privatizing the most profitable federal government department will solidify your rank as one of the most conservative of Liberals and gain the admiration of right-thinkers and Westerners across the country. With people like that behind you, it will be your seat in the prime minister's chair in four years, give or take a year depending on the polls.
Now, before you dismiss this idea as another half-baked, right-wing, government-resizing scheme, I think you should take the time to listen to the savvy advice of this moderately successful businessman. After all, I'm not going to try and con you into believing privatization reduces the cost of government or makes government services more efficient. Here in the West, privatization is about taking a stand and making bureaucrats afraid to go out during the day.
In the real world, privatization isn't about money, it's about principles. Alberta's own Steve West set a tough benchmark when he cost Albertans billions of dollars by selling off government-owned land during a recession simply because it was there. Today, Steve West may not be admired for his intelligence, his concern for the public purse, or God forbid, even his business sense, but he is admired for his unwavering belief in privatization. Sticking to your principles in the face of common sense is the kind of thing that gets voters excited and can set you apart from the rest of the Liberal clones.
Stirring hearts and souls is what politics are supposed to be about, but both you and I know that money puts ballots in the box. Money can also turn a plan that looks like political suicide into the path to Sussex Drive. Follow the money and you will see who has the deep, dark soul needed to be a tax collector. Yes, our own beloved banks are the institutions for the job.
For a small cut of the taxpayer pie, I'm sure the banks could see their way to providing yet another financial service for all Canadians. Sure, paying someone else to do the government's dirty work will cost a little blood money, but losing millions in revenue is a small price to pay to get out of the tax business. Besides, it will be a boost in the arm for our banks and, as every school boy knows, strong banks mean a strong Canada
Finally, who has the money to turn a natural conservative (you can't fool this veteran) into the next Liberal prime minister? Yes, but the answer is better left unspoken. Well, it's getting late. If you are a true politician, I think you know what to do now.
Good luck in the leadership campaign, sorry, I mean finance portfolio.
Stanley "Buzz" Angus
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