FFWD Weekly
Copyright © 1997. All Rights Reserved.
Bring me the head of David Spade
Pesci movie eight times funnier than even Weekend at Bernies!Eight Heads in a Duffle Bag
directed by Tom Shulman
starring Joe Pesci, Andy Comeau and David Spade
Check listingsThere's nothing quite like the sound of a theatre jam packed with people not laughing. It's like all the oxygen has been sucked out, leaving only the vacuum of space.
The joke is launched.
The silence rings in your ear like AM radio static.
Someone cracks another "hey, don't take my head off!" joke and the temperature plummets.
Then Kristy Swanson shows up onscreen, opens her mouth and all the light is sucked out of the room, like a black hole, only dumber.
A lone, brave soul in the crowd manages an "ooooh-kaaay."
Joe Pesci and David Spade appear, and with them comes a brief glimmer of hope. That vanishes all-too-soon, leaving the rest of the film squarely on the shoulders of some chinless no-name wuss of a Tom-Hanks lookalike named Andy Comeau with zero charisma and even less comic timing. (Don't exactly get that impression from the ads, do ya?)
The crowd thins. They may have left, but more likely, it was spontaneous combustion.
Next comes the alcoholic mother hallucination gag (there's nothing funnier than alcoholism!).
Then the "hey, gringo!" sequence (there's nothing funnier than gang rape!).
Then the 90th shot of someone opening the bag and freaking out (shouting people are funny people!).
Then the jokes about guys named Dick (fuh-ny!).
Then the blind Mexican laundry woman scene with no punch line (there's nothing funnier oh, fuck it).
But then comes the real corker.
The eight severed heads break into a rendition of "Mr. Sandman!" Only, get this! It's not Mr. Sandman, it's Mr. Hitman! Whew, baby!
And then this coyote steals one of the heads and ru....
BOOM!
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